Jinchi. The Dreaming Idiot

2012-03-08T17:46:00.002+08:00

Romance. Is something i am still searching for.
Reading stories are really inspirational.
Dreaming is still a thing i do all the time.
But as Albus Dumbledore says, It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Build those aerial castles. and start building foundations to support it.

Be proud of the romance you're journeying upon.
This odyssey will be a lifelong what. Pretty much what life is all about.

And this, shall be a reminder to keep me looking forward with inspiration.

2012-01-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

... when did i turn into sucha pessimist?
used to be so carefree.
responsibilities eh?... sighs.

2012-01-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

Why does the itsy bitsy spider climb up the spout over and over again even though it knew it will still be washed down by the rain?
That much effort, against the blazing sun and the strong winds, just to see whatever imaginary good things it assumed will above? Even after being washed away by the rain so many times, it still continued to seek what isn't there.
That romance? or just stupid masochism?

2012-01-12T00:11:00.000+08:00

Recently, all the dreams i have in my sleep are about japan.....

2012-01-03T05:41:00.001+08:00

Why? its everywhere....

why is it so deeply rooted in my life?
why did i let it?
why is it of such importance to me?
why can't i enjoy it?
why does it hurt?

why..

2011-12-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

I thought i was able to control it.
but when it came back again, i couldn't.
And now it's eating me up.
how much more? till i actually break?
i really want to give up fighting....
just go away... would you?

2011-12-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

Damn.
Seeing death in front of you isn't pleasant at all.
screw you.

2011-12-05T00:04:00.001+08:00

I realised that i've really been caring too little about the details...

2011-12-03T23:36:00.002+08:00

The direction my character is heading towards is not really good apparently.

Looking back, an attention attracting, ignorant, arrogant and insensitive stupid lil kid? pretty sure i was.
Felt the need and pressure to change? Yeap. Stepped away from that dark zone.
Quiet. And observed as much as possible... i learnt. But wait. something's missing. it aint fun..
i started finding self-esteem and well. everything was good. I was good. I felt good... until it grew too big. I was too good. moving me into the grey area.
Arrogance came back. Insensitivity slipped back. To find fun, anything can come out. The most lethal weapons of humans. accidents occur. injuries made which you regret.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Once again i see the need to change. But this time it isn't ignorance. It's pride. Sorry for people who i've offended. I didnt mean it that way...

A man's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.

Thank you Lord.

2011-11-28T23:52:00.002+08:00

What's real and what's not?
well, now what actually seems surreal is the fact that I'll be back to school and stressing out for exams in around a month...

Seriously... this is the first time I actually feel like giving up. ...
..

2011-11-20T01:42:00.001+08:00

No. please stop reminiscing.... it hurts.

2011-11-13T16:53:00.002+08:00

Having interest in everything eh?

Well, as a perfectionist, i strive to be capable. And being able to do many things.
But i lack many many factors to be perfect. Fear, Courage, Motivation, Perseverance......

But well. Is it bad to have many interest?
Well, to be stubborn in your believes and rejecting everything without taking interest in it at all, for one, i dare say is not good.

Well, Jack of all trades and master of all? That seems too perfect and ideal. But well, that doesn't mean that i can't learn and try everything right?

Well, logically, even if i can't be better at stuff compared to others at something, i probably would be able to do many other stuff that he can't do.

Well. frankly speaking, i don't know. Pros and cons but still, this path is one that i feel like soaring towards.

2011-11-09T17:25:00.002+08:00

I realised i always like to write something here when i get sentimental..

Well, there have really been some really fond times in the past. remembering them is beautiful, but at the same time, painful.

Why must time flow, or maybe, why is there time? Sometimes, weird thoughts like this just flies around. Well, i can easily argue with myself, but stubbornness would then play it's part. Making me complain about what only is in front, the pain. While not logically thinking.
You just can't get the best of both worlds eh?

Sentiments aside,

well i finally finished my last academic event of the year yesterday. Finally letting off that last burden to it's destination. So light, So free.
But then again, i'm back to square one. No destinations.

I need to make some money, but i've got no time..

sighs. messy post.
sorry, bye.

2011-10-30T23:50:00.002+08:00

Truth to be told, I really love literature.
Even though for fact that i got an F9 for lit in sec2...
Interest, but no aptitude. i guess.
Or maybe then, art was oblivious to me.
But now. i do wish that i have learnt lit. maybe not academically but just.. as an interest i guess.
haha but then again, ironically. i'm still moving on, learning and seeing how words work.

One thing i really love about lit is descriptive writing.
Some authors can really express that very moment, that very scene in words! And when imagination takes it's course, beautiful things appear. Thank God.
Unfortunately, words a typical me would write are usually summarised. To a point where everything is kinda vague. No descriptions, no details...
Really envy them. If i could put down what i feel. describing them. on paper (or bytes). How great, wonderful and beautiful would that be?
But well. this castle is not one i'm planning to put sand ad stone below on. maybe just one that when i soar and it's there, i'll go in, talk a walk around and just enjoy being in that presence. Thank you.

************************************************
Well. for now, i'll just get back down to earth and take care of my health, and my chinese paper tomorrow. or today, since its 12...04 . Oh Happy Halloween~ :D

Let's fly.

2011-10-16T22:56:00.002+08:00

I really have so much thoughts i want to put in here.
But everything's, well.. not organized.
So much musing done.
Yet not having the ability to write them down in words nicely.
so much for being a perfectionist.

Sorry. But thanks anyway. :)

2011-09-04T17:51:00.003+08:00

Haha. It's nice to let loose and have fun once in a while.

With that group of people who has known you as the stupid lil' kid, tearing out of that pit and just losing all sense of wisdom, becoming back to a kid.

-Losing wisdom to become clever.-

There's nothing to lose. knowing the fact that people around will not judge you and ostracize you no matter how crazy you get.
Unlike in society, where self-discipline is a must to keep your image among your peers.

No such thing as losing yourself to have fun. Its just a barrier known as pride keeping thing in and going out.

Personally, i feel that it's okay to go back to being a kid, the stage where we're at our best and when we have the most fun, no matter how old you become.

"and He said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

So just be that pride-less little children who knows to have fun and to have no worries, for you can trust and rely on Him and He will, always be there.

~a reminder to myself, a reminder to all~ :D

2011-09-04T17:51:00.002+08:00

2011-08-23T19:50:00.002+08:00

Waa. so full. ate curry, drank soup, got some juice and quenched my thirst with water.
For more details about food, go find the mustafa explorer~
@ http://gustatoryexplorer.blogspot.com/ ! just doing a favor eh?~

life's been.. busy..
weather has been.. bad.. real bad..
the period of the year where tissue boxes are a necessity has awaken again.
but oh wells. He'll take care of it~ :D Thanks!
And well i started.. taking singing to a higher level. a nice spiritual level~
Trying to save money.. for deh time is coming.

and thats kinda about it. SLEEPPY~ I WANT SLEEP~
okay bye.
TO INFINITY AND BEYOND~

2011-08-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

I'm tired.

Tired of trying to enjoy things that aren't.. anymore apparently.
It was so easy. Just being insensitive, and just being a fool.
Only to be taken care of. Not requiring to stand loud noises ringing through.

Something's changed. I changed, for the better i suppose.
But there were other changes too.. changes that made things so tiring..

Castles that were built... they seem so unreachable now.
The experience of stepping in one isn't the same anymore.
It's just.... tiring..

2011-08-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

Everyone has been a stupid little brat which has done many stupid pranks and mistakes.
We get reprimanded and we learn, to not do the silly stuff and get scolded for the same thing over again.

When you see someone else having a good laugh doing some pranks which you have done before, you laugh with them.
But when that person stepped over the line, just like what you have done in the past and know that the outcome will be bad, what do you do?
I did not have the courage to reprimand them.
I played along.. Until pride took the better of me....

"If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also." Luke6:29
They wanted to make fun of me, i should have just let them laugh at me, and should have even made myself more disgraceful to let them laugh more.
But No. I let pride take the better of me and gave them the cold shoulder.
Maybe because i am envious of them, not getting scolded for doing the same thing which i got scolded for.

Lord, sorry. Hear my prayer, forgive me.
And Thank You Lord, for taking care of everything and letting the outcome be fine.
Thank You.

The more things i can see, the harder it is to escape to my castle in the air.
Maybe it's time to land my foot upon solid ground and bid farewell to what has been there, for it will soon be just a relic of the past.

2011-07-17T03:32:00.002+08:00

回忆童年.
The warmth i get when i'm reminded of my childhood.
I even almost forget that i actually had such a wonderful childhood.
Even when my parents are working their asses off and i was lonely most of the time.

There were times where my father took off an hour to spent 50 cents each for us to go to the arcade at fourth floor of the mall to play a game. A bomberman game.

I just found the game. Neo Bomberman.
Played it and finished the game with my father commenting on ol' times.
In the past it was just my father fighting every monster and me just staying alive.

Thank you. Dad.

2011-07-10T21:49:00.002+08:00

Has been quite some time since i wrote about happenings rather than thoughts...

Today was a pretty fun day full of experiences.
I learnt that God has really been taking care of my sleep and giving me discipline to wake myself up. Thank you.
Music charged up my morning while heading to church at a really early time. Even though i only had 2 hours of sleep.
The worship team Bryan has is really awesome. personally i like singing with kunfeng and together with the harmony of the pianist yihui, the structure from the drums mingen, the background chords from guitarist yiyiong and the supportive bassist xiusha.
Thank you, for giving me leading me into such a wonderful worship.

I've never had much experience working in teams since i used to work alone so much. Requiring to work with people lead to many conflicts. but then again. with our Great Father mediator, misunderstandings are solved easily.

The lunch was the same, yet somehow. it felt a lot more interesting than the usuals. I wonder why.

and there was this. which kinda stroke me hard.

well. it was really fun, once again being able to see true personalities giving off a dazzling glow which was rid of all burdens. Lord, Thank you for the time.
************************************
sorry for this posts being so separated.
oh wells. needa catchUp on sleep.
nighties., and thanks, readers.

2011-07-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

On my journey upon learning more about myself,
i learnt today that- I don't like to give answers.

This habit has been there since. i don't know.
When someone asks me something, i usually just give a ambiguous answer. maybe due to lack of confidence in giving an exactly correct answer due to my perfectionism, or maybe it's because i'm just being a jerk.
By jerk i mean then somehow i look down on people. (both figuratively and literally)
I make sure than when i give an answer, it is shown that they deserve the answer.

***** It's ironic i'm writing this post. but i feel that i should do this.*****

And apparently, when i am obligated(note that i'm using 'obligated' in a very scientific form) to give answers. the answers given are not exactly exact. You can somehow extract the answer from the statement.
Somehow i like giving ambiguous answers, and the sadistic side of me really finds joy when someone's able understand me;what i'm saying.

Is this good or bad? I think my past somehow injected me with this.
Sorry, if i somehow hurt you with this.

and we go, into the ambiguous.

2011-07-07T01:05:00.003+08:00

Crap, i seriously am missing the old place now.
Dreams which were created.
Life being lived out.
Personalities maturing.
The relief accumulated contents.

The home that I'll definitely never forget.
The scent of the place.
All the crappy memories which still puts a smile on my face.
All that's endured and stood victorious from.

Big hall.
Red carpet.

Cold floor.
Lonely piano.

Wooden walls.
Light Covers.

Boring classes.
Simple posters.

I'm really late in posting this eh?
But i feel much better after reminiscing the past.
Thank You Father. For such a wonderful home.

2011-06-19T08:41:00.001+08:00

The long awaited Sunday~.
Bye Singapore.

Why am i brooding on the end when it hasn't even begun.
weird me.

Bye~
TO Infinity And BEyond!~

2011-06-16T01:25:00.002+08:00

First times.
Scary, yet so much learnt from.

Had a BBQ party for my choir at my place.
Planning was tough, but well. Luckily i had experience... kinda~ Thank God.

At some point of time i had stuff that intrigued me.
Seeing how i used to be and understanding how people looked at me and how i looked i people.
Being burdened with something that i threw upon myself.
Speechlessness and needing to act otherwise.

Sacrificing a Relic of my past to make up for wrong-doings.
I might be called a sentimental person, or maybe just afraid, un-confident. Needing something to assure me of my existence.

Let's Just Leave everything in His hands.

Come, let's soar with the clouds, and move, move on.

2011-06-05T00:38:00.003+08:00

The opinion of not wanting to think still holds true for me.
I complain a lot about how tiring when things are too busy. Yet when things are easy going you get too much time. which the ever-going mind will shift its focus to thinking. thats pretty much where things get complicated.

I don't like looking back at objects in the distant past. It seems so reachable, as if stretching out a hand would grasp it. Reality is such a cruel thing.
Once you've tasted something pleasant, eventually you will yearn for it again. The when the 'eventually' comes, you might have just forgotten what you are actually yearning for, leaving you with a missing gap to fill, one that allows coldness to spread through. However you adapt to the gap or coldness leads to different and different personalities. While other which are unable to, just loses the ability to provide warmth, turning into a black hole which just sucks surrounding happiness away.

Yet, the absence just makes the heart fonder, creating the endless cycle of tearing down inside the moment you taste and forget. I don't want to forget, yet at this point, i don't want to remember, since it only brings sorrow when you know how impossible distant it is.

Why can't i just have the courage i'm supposed to wake up and simply make it all mine being carefree? Where did all my carefree-ness which i once boasted so proudly of went? Getting inspired is nothing, when you can't express it out up front... maybe that's the reason why art was created...

Let's just leave everything to Him and have faith that he has a plan to use such a creation of his.

And thus, we continue on this pathway and go...

2011-05-19T01:00:00.002+08:00

Haha, i went blog-hopping just now and saw this awesome sweet lil' post.
And it kinda got me thinking. The past, the present, the future.
How fun the past was, as how it was stated by him. all those nonsense. haha pomegranate.
How to make use of the present even though all the bullsh*t (no offence :D) we used to do is quite impossible to do so now.
And how it will feel to be leaving too. the nostalgia blended together.

haha. thanks for using the awesome beautiful girl's pic!
The post:http://ambidextroused.wordpress.com/2011/01/08/it-is-moments-like-this/
haha sry for any copyright issues. xD

like they say, the past is a dream, the future is a mystery, the present is a gift.
And therefore, i shall go sleep.
Nights world!

2011-04-21T00:59:00.002+08:00

Like how I've always ranted: i don't wanna grow up. Gaining knowledge and getting cleverer is just stupid. why can't things just be simple?
In a sense, i might be really good to live a country life.
Why embed nonsense stuff into our ever so tiny brain?
Why getting ourselves into so much vines and thorns?

I actually don't mind being back to a stupid naive kid i was.
Rolling back the tape to the blurry serenity.
Being loved by inexperienced and busy parents.
Snuggling under that ol' bed of mine.
Waking up the earliest to enjoy the cold room and enjoying the rare presence on my parents.
Dreading them waking, only to attend school, or maybe just another excuse for the same reason.
Being in a class where everyone was just a kid.
No experience, just plain stupid.
Growing slower than others.
Being left behind.
Suffering the isolation.
Craving for recognition.

Now?
Departed from that level having glimpsed the cruel world.
Desperate to find time alone with myself.
Caught up and decently in the middle of the crowd.
Encountering tons of problems and troubles.

How nostalgic.

Rest well Griffin, for the day i seek you is the day we shall go through thick and thin. Rest well.

And we shall soar.. into the starry sky.

2011-03-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

Time spent. was wonderful. and i think that is how life is meant to be. :D

Yesterday, everything was smooooth, even before the day started, literally. It was a day to look forward to which, unsurprisingly, made everything cool. The morning was sweaty, and somewhat guilty. But from the very one moment, the one moment when the hole was filled, Dawn came. Everything after that felt like power was enabled to be drawn. The unity, just being One Voice(in love and harmony...).

And thus, I ended yesterday with a smile, leaving everything with Him, and confidently going to sleep.
Being brought awake, the mundane journey continued. A thought of the near past engraved a smile while on this quest. And the day continued.

Forever we shall be, Aspiring to worship in the near future, In unity, as a band.
I thank God, whom i believe, has made our day. In every area and every minute.
*************************************

Getting your PW question and seeing that they were topics that i have continuously pondered on about relieved me. But finding out the immediate weight of the effort i need to use on it is.... irritating. Oh wells, who cares? i'll get over it.

Lessons were unexpectedly fast. The good, filling 8 hours rest works, together with a little caffeine magic.

And i really am sorry to be unable to wish luck due to being air-headed. Well, can i assume grace is given? xD.

**************************************

Choir Practice was kinda irritating for when you know what you are singing is against your believes. But i was told that i should just sing it for the sake of it being an art. Thoughts poured in. People are not using art for what it is for, to glorify the Creator.
Nevertheless, just sing lor. SYF mah. Sing finish liao then throw it straight to the bin, and watch it perfectly swirl in. But the thing is that i can't direct my thought to create a feeling to sing the song as it's meant to be. -Roars- annoying.
One more thing during practice is that i finally found an answer to my thousand year unexplained phenomenon. Which is why no matter how painful heartaches are, i still love having it. Hah, i am no sadist. even though i thought i was. xD But not now, that i know why. Unfortunately, i'm not sharing it. XP.

Practice ended on a bright note, Lightning bright. Walking out of the room feeling totally calm to find thunders roaring and pets pouring, i just stuffed my ears with music to protect my drums from the crackling and walked through the coldness.
Well, let's look on the bright side, My shoes are cleaned!! HURRAYS. :D . it was dirtied on saturrday by some muddy field and irritating soap.
This felt like a shower of blessing rather than a storm. no not just because of that and don't ask what else, cuz i don't know, it just felt like it.
*****************************************

Okay and thats kinda about it. Blogging.. checked. items left.. one game, pieces and pieces of work,etc.
-and i just walk off-

2011-02-27T16:19:00.002+08:00

Taking risks.
An essential part of life.

An normal move that you made might change the whole outcome.
Save yourself and take the risk that everyone, including yourself, might die?
Or Sacrifice yourself and supposedly save the others?

The best scenario is to take the first and everybody lives.
To the contrary, taking the latter and regretting it, for it was in vain.

By calculating chances, both choices you make have a great chance of you being destroyed. So why not take the first and take a chance that everyone continues?
But, if you look at this from a particular perspective, it might seem that you are being selfish by risking everyone just to rescue yourself.

Mixed thoughts.

What would you do?

2011-02-20T21:12:00.002+08:00

The monster within.

Feeling the presence of it when it digs a way through.

Tired of suppressing it, using almost all of your energy to.

Sometimes, wishing that i would just sink, and melt into liquid as though i've got some superpowers.

I'm back to square one, I don't wanna think. It's too troublesome.

Resting in my room in darkness and silence. This might be one of the best feeling i would find in life till now.
The fear of it ending when noisy people just messes with my train of thoughts and disturbs whatever serenity i can find, tearing it into emptiness. Frustration.

In no time at all, Hearts will hold.

2011-02-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

End of the first long weekend of 2011. The oiliest and a very awesome break! :D

The CNY was great. collected lotsa ang poas from here and there and played many many games, of BanLuck and DaiDee. but that, is only the tip of the awesomeness iceburg.

Having felt God's healing powers and grace in recovering from illness in one night, was really amazing.
Having Eight/Nine people squeeze cosily in a small room playing cards and dirtying the atmosphere and floor with oil, burps, UNNECESSARY noise, and laughter was unforgettable.
Having watched an awesome film of art, was touchingly scary.
Having strolled home melting into a luscious McFlurry was the best enjoyment to end the weekend with.

Another great thing is the fact that my schools starts on 830 everry MonDAYEEE! heehee. :D
yeah awsome stuff. xD the loads of bak kua in my system is too.

And yeah. Thanks! :)
Byeyos.

2011-01-17T03:58:00.002+08:00

Smack 3.57 in the middle of deh night. I'm awake. Why?.. hmm not sure. maybe due to the fact i slept at dusk yesterday.
And. hmm yesterday.. was quite a boring day.\, considering that i spent the last six hours and first 8 hours sleeping.
Yesterday's worship was good. Thanks, Worship team.
Yesterday's sermon was good. Thanks, ZNDS
Yesterday whatever time spent with peeps was good. Thanks, Yihui,Weien,Eugene and a couple more.
Yesterday's gaming session with Guanliang was good.
God was good and still is.
He created us. He loves us.
**Sidetrack for a moment**
I've been thinking about what my father said on 7 Dec 2010. "there isn't a need to celebrate my birthday, because everyday is a birthday to me."(FYI, his birthday's on 7 Dec) Well, that's a great way of living. I want to live like that. Or maybe i am already. But then again that will cease to make the day of our births special. The day he created us. To be able to laugh, cry, feel pain. Lord. Thank you.
So birthdays is another day we celebrate His grace. To once again thank him for bringing us through another year of living. People around will celebrate, too, for receiving the joy of having a brother/sister in Christ. This, in my opinion as i am now, is my perspective of birthdays.
*******************************************
'O' levels. finally over and cutting all, or most, strings attached. I think the worst part of this odyssey is actually entering the choices for tertiary education.
Compared to just mugging and spending lotsa time behind a desk and reading about Venice, integrating stuff, attending exams and helping each other with their homework, it's nothing, NOTHING, compared to having disappointment directed directly upon you. Especially in a time in desperate need of encouragement. This is the worst experience of living till now.
I tried sinking myself into ways to stop thinking, only to be nagged by the same people who made me do it.

Now when i look at this situation. Why doesn't it feel the same as how our heavenly Father look at us with disappointment? Maybe because he is graceful and doesn't stress us? Or maybe we are taking him for granted? The first fact is an excuse for the latter, i would say.
Nevertheless, that's how a great God he is. Even though we disappointed him by wandering deep into the abyss of sin, he still shed his blood to bring us out, even though we still wander in with help from temptation, he would still lead us out. Lord, Thank you.

Some time ago, a battle to be fought on the next morning is going to be hard. Dusk came, we're yet ready. Miraculously, that night, help came, from above. He gave us rest from all sense of worry. At dawn, He lead us, to victory.
Other endeavours are bound to come. The story will still be the same. Lord, Thank you.
**************************************
I used to dream, like an idiot.
I'm going to lose this ability, like an idiot.

(pardon me.)
And so, we go...

2010-12-07T05:07:00.002+08:00

OMGZ!!!!! i cant sleep.

this symptom.. having a huge swell of nostalgia and resulting in insomnia has been striking me quite a few times in this period..
so i just kinda play games to kill time and find thing to do and find stuff to eat.. nomnomnom. unhealthy but. well. sinking in the pleasure of food is kinda the best thing for me i guess.. in situations like this.

i went through the archives of blogs i find.. and i this thought came into my mind. can't i stay young and being a carefree child, must i grow up and enter the confusing and troublesome world? people say that i grow too fast. i like to remind and point out people of their own childishness. could be partly because i am jealous. but yeah. whatever.
It suddenly feels unsafe. my comfort circle is being threatened with increasing knowledge. i don't wanna think. i don't wanna learn. and people think im weird with the excuse of them being troublesome. too bad. im lazy.

So many traps, so many pits out there. i am careless and i find many of them. stood up and continued walking. but the damage and scars i acquired, were they worth it?
i try to be as carefree as possible. but some things were just too great to be avoided. i let it go, but it stills comes back to haunt me.

i think im a coward. even when my name stands for courage.

oh wells. im stopping. if you've preservered and read till here. i thank you. but not to worry i have my troubles under control. since He IS there for me..

sighs. 5.29 am 7 December 2010. sign off. the awesomething me.

~~~ what should i do nowww??? ~~~

2010-11-10T12:41:00.002+08:00

Right. im so bored that i felt like posting.. even though i should. xD

So. O levels are considered over to me two days ago, monday. Although officially i still have a paper on friday. but the contents im expecting is already saturated inside. and my expectations are high. well. it is after all an MCQ science paper! XP

so im bored. waiting for weekends to come and rotting at home for the time being. kinda lost motivation to do anythingg. computer games are not fun when played alone. and sleeping at the right time seems hard too. i just ton-ed this moring/yester-night since i had an evening nap yesterday. food doesnt seems as appealing as before and during the exams... -sighs-

and it kinda looks like lotsa things are going to end after this year eh? no more nostalgic old church. no more sleeping in peirce sec. and well. some other things.

when things end, other stuffs start and to me, they all more or less looks like troubles. finding jcs/polys to go to, starting life there.. and many obstacles... and laughter to go through too. :D

----------------------------------
is giving up on things okay?
----------------------------------

and well... whatever! XD
so erm. 1 month of slack, here i come! lets go.'CHARGE!!!!!!!'... -trips and falls, face on the ground- -left hand raises and waves farewell-...

2010-10-08T23:17:00.002+08:00

hmm.. right. 10+ more days to Os and i'm still clickin and typin in front of the computer, giving excuses such as working too hard in school that day and weekends are rest-time to have fun on.

but recently, especially today, the stress i wanted is finally coming in. Thanks, God. hmm so lets see. 3 days more lesson and a day where we graduate from attending classes in school. after that, 11 full days of rotting at home. study partner(s), anyone? kicking off with a dreaded science practical and following behind the parade from Cambridge, English. and so on until the only day where i have two papers , SS and F&N(written). and as usual, ending it off we have the slightly less stressful MCQs!!!

and i shouldn't think so far into the future now, 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34

and thats about it for this post. best of luck to me!
byeeyos.

beautiful weekend.

2010-07-25T23:25:00.002+08:00

yesterday was fun, other than waking up early in the morning...
Well, if you dint know, i went to a missionary stimulation trip at a church in the land of far far away in a bus hired by church.
Talked alot with guan liang about LeagueOfLegends, a game, which is a typical thing for us to do though...
We got into a comfort zone and left it, learned languages: lidiboorulbagi, cultures: salam alekom, went through troublesome stages: gettin passports, got blindfolded and irritated people, and my specs broke after dropping on the floor while removing the blinds, disturbing act-fierce custom people and had fun, learned more language and debriefed the trip. 5 hours has gone by. Wow?
Somehow, i felt the hardship of being a missionary, so in conclusion, pray for them..
Took bus trip back church, had 4 muffins, which was considered alot. And since everyone was muffin filled, we took quite some time to decide how we shalt continue our journey. In the end, went to jubilee subway. I dint eat. But theres this takoyaki outlet outside. So YAYYYY. And that was my dinner, together with a cup of bubble tea which somehow was also shared my me and my shirt and bag, last but not least, fascinating by a strand of long hair.. Went home and ate chilli crab for post dinner. Lol

Today, i somehow woke up early and reached church early. Without glasses. Managed to survive sunday school, which was kinda boring... Where did the fun of sunday school go.. Zzzz learnt the palm sunday thing where Jesus triumphant entry of jerusalem occured.
Sermon: telling people the gosple is our duty, making them believe is God's. W should know more about God in order to tell people about him and his sacrifice.
Ate at amk market with super nice gummies as dessert. AWESOMEEE. Thx chunxing.
Went weien's house to study using her chem books. Thx weien. did amath question using nigel amath worksheet and felt great sense of achievements. Thx nigel BROws. And getting my chem revised. Thx yihui~.
Ate dinner, starting raining and went home. I took a detour to return yihui's book at amk library. From there to the bus stop, i needed to cross the overhead bridge. On the few steps up, flash and boom. A lighting was just meters away. I feared and prayed. Kinda like peter walking on water eh? Saw danger and feared; lost faith. Why are we afraid of death?
Went home, had a lil trouble since no specs;cannot see bus plate. Got home and father insisted me to eat dinner my mom took from my grandma. Somehow swallowed it.
I started my quiet time. Opened OBD and saw 'fix your eyes'. Hm right. God really had a sense of humour. Then ODJ. 'dying wish' i was like eh serious anot? (referring to the lighnting incident) that reminds me nitrogen oxide, an air pollutant that irritates and damaged lungs, is formed naturally in lightning. XD.

Ok i guess this's the end of my update.
Baabyes.
tsubu no minah?

2010-07-12T18:43:00.003+08:00

juz here to tell you readers that its not dead here yet. and i am still reading my tagboard. but.. ya. twitter and facebook are taking away my post..
so me shalt posted agains whent me gote inspirationzxc to bloggy~

2010-05-26T18:36:00.002+08:00

hmm. how should i start??
ironically i did but. well. ya.

today was the dreaded day of losing a way of spending time. the computer.
this was due to a L1R5 of 22 for my prelims 1.

so here i am, typing away at the last moment. -the last words of this computer-

my result slip was of colorful grades. i had one of every grade from A1-D7. unfortunately, the D7 was my only humanity subject, meaning that the C6 subject was the grade which would be not going into my L1R5.

i spent 1 hr today listening to my parents nag more or less right after they came home. Since they are upset due to the current hopes quite high on me. L1R5 of 8 for my o levels and 15 now since i bargained quite a bit. Well, the high expectations can be considered my fault too. since i keep raising their expectations of me.... to keep them satisfied one way or another.

So this is my way of optimistic view on my results now. Since i didnt really study much for my exams and got 22 for my L1R5, this simply means that this would be my worst results. So i actually can reach higher without being afraid to fall much. U C U C?? so ya. well maybe another way of calling this would be the excuse for my laziness. so. ya.

well. so bye com and hi books.
lalalala lalalala lalalala EEEEE~
byee

relationships.

2010-03-21T00:24:00.003+08:00

A Keel of a ship is the important which the ship would fall apart if it is damaged, it cannot be repaired. The only way is to recreate it but the ship will never be the same as the original. And yet, the keel hides deep in the ship therefore, not many people actually know about it.
So, do not damage the keel.

2010-02-11T17:04:00.001+08:00

ok. its like 2 days away from valentines cum new year eve.. gosh.. ppl gathered at the reunion dinner will like ask us (teens) abt having a girlfriend/boyfriend. typical.

oh wells. at least i get some ang paos aka. money.

n.. hmm bye. xDDDD

2010-01-16T23:08:00.002+08:00

today was... indescribable...... (uncontainable. who place the stars.. xD)
and tiring. im being contradictive xD... oh wells.

first cell group outing of 2010 wif the new OBEDIENT wif all tq guys.
came to my house to play.. billet, soccer, tennis, basketball and working out at gym*

billet- play the many many colour de balls.. and saw proness of wzds wif a cue.

soccer- 2 simple matches and me being goalie most of the times. caught a few balls >.>

tennis- im lousy.. but got learned something lor.

basketball- the 6 hours on the court is death lah. like some1 already toe cramping liaos <.<

gym- well i only did a few dumbbells lifts. yiyong n yongjing did more though.

and.. hmm.
happy birthday yihui
happy birthday tingting
happy birthday jiaqi ds.

and happy birthday to... dunno. xD
bye

2010-01-15T19:40:00.002+08:00

The second school week officially over.. a bit rusty but.. should go off if i polish it a bit.

today first chior practice. got new members and hmm.. ya.
bad day. waited for bus 1 HOUR! freggin bjdaskcgdbavkjgbsjdbhc bus.

boom boom boom. bye.

2010-01-04T22:22:00.004+08:00

ok. My last post is.. Hmm.. Haha. Im getting weirder.

School starts.
My goals- to try to get eightt cca points and be more hardworking. esp. academically..
First day of school is all talks... Like literally.. Goshh.

****************************

Is being contradictive/ contradicting things wrong?
Like life is so ironic already,
eg.
Being strong and needy
Humble and greedy
God made us as beautiful mess(es)
[i know jason mraz dint mean it like that..]

People say cannot gamble. yet in life, everybody does. Like even in minor stuff and subconsciously...
Life is full of gambles. Unless you want the neutral boring path..

Eugene playing drop games in maple, playing cards, monopoly. All are gambles.. (if you are reading this and is a child and not mature enough, what i refer to is not money-gamble. So do not try this at home.. XD)..

Oh wells. I guess this would be how i end of bahh... Baabayeeeeeeeeee

2010-01-03T22:36:00.003+08:00

new year. - pros and cons.

living through another year of suffering, fear and stress
living through another year of fun, excitement and hope

to have new goals, yet not being able to do much
to chase upon past goals, still stuck to the past.

innocence/ignorance is bliss eh?.

new environment
new tasks
new missions

as i look upon the empty sky.
maybe its time to say goodbye.

2009-12-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

1 more hour and its over. okay so here are ppl i want to thank.
(they are according to the time they wished me and im only going till seven.)
1st: Yong Jing (sms)
2nd: Kai Xin (facebook)
3rd: Yihui (facebook chat)
4th: Auntie Yihui (msn)
5th: Louis (facebook)
6th: Weien (sms)
7th: Chai Jing (facebook)
and thx to those that also wished me. sry for not listin down the rest of names but.. well since i only wanna go till 7.

so ya thx. byez

2009-12-01T23:28:00.001+08:00

okayess. my PC is back.. but not the old 1.
i got this from my uncle and is quite slow and has nothing in it... have to install many stuffs. haizz,

Music cafe this saturday. practices and stuff. good luck!

and thats abt it. byez

2009-11-27T23:52:00.002+08:00

okay. i'm gonna post something~

house has moved and body has adapted to new place.
the computer i used has totally spoiled and.. haiz. no more PC.

and i guess that almost abt it. ppl came to housewarming party on 23rd november 09z.
many stuff happened and... ahlala

thats all.. and i wanna play poker. not FB poker.

byeyoz,

2009-11-17T18:13:00.002+08:00

The time is here~
for my house to move~
*imagine my house growing legs and......*
haha

this sat, my route home would be different.
i still miss my ooOLDd house. haiz... oh well.

2 dayes of no-internet access. thurs and fri.

alalalaala. and thats about it.

ByeZ,

2009-11-09T22:25:00.002+08:00

first question: why am i here.

Ans: Becuz i think that its time to post something!
*************************************************

school's been fine... and boring. other than the fact that i did a O level math paper 1 today and found it challenging... and good.

3 more school days to the holidays. but then again, things might not be as good.

numb, bored and tired.... ah well..
***************************************************

short post
im back to audition
I WANNA EAT SUBWAY COOKIES.

... B.y.e.Z ~

2009-10-30T13:29:00.009+08:00

okayeee
i'm back from the Sec 3 camp which i went on wednesday at somewhere near the pasir ris park.
good for me- no high elements activities involved.

there was like dragonboat, amazing race(which i am bored of), the mystery hunter thing.. and of course, campfire... without the fire. cuz school budget. well, the campsite does not have anyplace for a campfire anyway.

well, in summary, it was kinda fun. juz that there are some food problemss.... ya. u shld know.

OH oh. i also got my results le.. and here it is:
*******************************************************
Name................ : LEON YAO JINCHI
Age on 1st Jan... : 14
S/N .................. : 27
Identification No. : S9******* (xD)
Class ................. : S3-E2
Stream ............. : EXPRESS
Form Teacher ... : MISS TAN BEE JUAT
Co-Form Teacher : MISS MAJIDAH BTE MAHMOOD
________________________________________________________
Subject ...................... Overall
________________________________________________________
ENGLISH LANGUAGE ------------- 61 B4
CHINESE ----------------------------- 53 C6
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS -- 77 A1
MATHEMATICS --------------------- 86 A1
SCIENCE(CHEM,BIO) -------------- 76 A1
COMBINED HUMANITIES(S,G)-- 62 B4
FOOD & NUTRITION -------------- 61 B4
CIVICS & MORAL EDUCATION------- B
________________________________________________________
Total ................ :423/600
Percentage ........ :70.5
Class Position ..... :5/39
L1R4 Aggregate . :11
L1R5 Aggregate . :15
Results ............. :Passed
Promotion status :Promoted to S4 EXPRESS
Conduct ........... :VERY GOOD
Attendance ...... :186/188

Comments :
Leon is a pleasant and amiable boy who appears uninterested and nonchalant at times. Possessing a quick and analytical mind and methodical approach to studies, Leon displays an aptitude and great interest in Science and Mathematics; and has done well in them. Keep up the good work. As a member of the class committee, Leon could have been more forthcoming and responsible; and taken more initiative in assisting the class and teachers.
********************************************************

ok maybe to clarify some things, all things that i posted above is exactly how it is in the report book other than the headings, statistics for the grades and the bottom.

this result is kinda funny cuz of the uninterested and nonchalant part.. which is kinda true. xD and thats all abt it.

BYEz

2009-10-20T00:00:00.002+08:00

Ohh. this is my 71 post already... hmm
oh well

Gettin my EOYs result tmr and well.. actually kinda look forward to it.
i find gettin results interesting no matter how bad or would good it is.

Try ur best and prepare for the worst.. eh?
haha. i wonder if i actually tried my best. xD

and this is it. postin my results when i get them all back!

ByEz

2009-10-13T14:09:00.002+08:00

Am i happy, now that exams have officially ended?
maybe yes, maybe no. but being me, i'm gonna say:'i don't know'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now i got a whole lot of free time, before the holidays. before the O levels end. And in this free time, i don't feel like doing anything. but seeing reality, i have to do something. I need to find something which i enjoy to do. yet, nothing is there. nope. computer games are out. don't bother thinking about them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OH WELL. wads with this emo stuff. lets talk about nice stuff. such as my first visit to my new home, in yishun.

well. as expected, its empty and without electricity for the moment. but its very spacious. but the thing that intrigued me the most was that the facilities there are _____. well, i can't find a word to describe the goodness. xD.... i can't really believe that THAT, is gonna be my new home.

Buses going there are like 811, 851, 852, 853, 855...

lalala.. and this does it.
BYeZ.

2009-10-12T12:27:00.002+08:00

A-math: additional mathematics.
Addition: + lor
Mathematics: numbers.
therefore, 1+2? 3 lah!
aiyoo a-math so easy.

this is one thing i hope i get to say next year. or else... haizzz

okay. tomorrow is the last paper which is e-math paper and there is no need to study.. (in fact, i dint study much at all xD)
and the EOY holidays are finally coming.. but there is still curriculum. zz. oh well.
EOY holidays. something that has alot to do with craziness, friendship and lotsa fun.
hope this year's would be. too.

Now is to wait.. until November, when the 'O' levels end. HEY PEOPLE TAKING Os, JYJYS. all the way~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay now is time for my hobbies to activate!
PAPER ORIGAMIIIEEEEEEEEE

2009-09-10T00:59:00.001+08:00

Okayee. lets see. i have not posted for so many daysss because....
I dun have internet access!!!

haha sounds like such a lame excuse. but it is wad.
i also dun usually post this often.

ok lets see. i have no internet access because i'm moving house. and the connection is temporary severed. until today.

move hose to where? hmm, i now stayin at a temporary place because the new place is not yet available. the temporary place is simply 1 blk away from my old house.(IMAGINE~)

and thus, no more cookies~~ xD

2009-08-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

I have always been saying people as an idiot.
that includes myself.
yes. i am indeed an idiot.

but then, if everyone was an idiot, that simply makes everyone normal.
so... we are all idiots.

Pslam 23.
Lord thank you.

2009-08-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today, i realized something about myself
I am so not just lazy. physically and mentally, i'm even lazy sub-consciously too. haizz.

i was told to make a decision today. to choose to be a BSL(Baritone SL) or not.(well, i was under probation)

the teacher in charge asked me:
'are you comfortable being the BSL?'
i replied:
'ya.'
She:
'so do you want to be the BSL?'
Me:
'okay lor.'
She:
'dun say okay la. say yes or no can?'
Me:
'............(15 sec later)....err'
She:
'Why are you taking so long to answer? do u think you can lead the baritone? or do u think daniel can do better?' (btw, daniel is the other candidate for BSL)
Me:
'.....'
She:
'nvm i call daniel, DANIEL!!!'
Daniel:
'yes?'
She:
'do you want to be the BSL?'
Daniel:
'i'm okay with it'
She:
'why Are you giving the same answer as Leon? -sigh-'
'okay leon, do you want to be the BSL?'
Me:
'er.....'
She:
'its just yes or no, why do you have to hesitate?'
Me:
'yes and no,two choices alot leh!'
she:
'like that ur test paper MCQ 4 choices the u will take even longer izit?'
'okay so who is the BSL?
ME and daniel. -stares-
She:
'its who can lead the baritone better?'
'fine then daniel, you be ther BSL'

a simple yes and no question. i have no idea how to answer.
this had me thinking for the next one hour.

this question its like me standing in the middle.
on one side is yes, the other side no.
both of them are of equal distance away.
i'm indecisive.
both sides have equal pros and cons
so what do i do? sub-consciously, i wait for a push. so the nearer side i'm on, i will just move there. as its of a shorter distance.. and i'm lazy.

in tests, MCQ is different. as the four options are NOT choices. there are there for you to choose the right one. thats how i score in MCQ
similarly, when there are yes and no which are right and wrong, i would just choose the right one. although there are times that we are wrong.

as for the BSL post, i dun mind losing it. its just an excuse for me to go for cca practise. so now i lost it, sub-consciously, i am going to find another excuse. i think.

ahh.. i'm just so lazy . oh well. anyone got any tips which can help me in this area?
dun freggin tell me to try not to be lazy or smt along that line. and ya.
~read below~

2009-08-18T17:05:00.000+08:00

okayy.. this is going to be the first non-language test i am going to fail.. chem test. combined some more....die..i open the paper first question also dunno how do... then like 95% questions dunno how do. ahhahhh~.
lalalas.. die.

2009-08-14T21:40:00.000+08:00

How long has it been since i sat there. alone.
The last times was at sec1. in between the Yachad camp and be4 i went to TQ.
i could only watch the ants crawling around there. waiting... not knowing what to do next.
all alone.

but today, i don't feel lonely.
in fact, i feel that there will be someone.
i waited there. for the moment to come, tomorrow.

i was at the church's bus stop.

i wish that all of us could remain a family. always.

my father says that:'a skill learnt can never be forgotten'
to me, its true. with one exception.
i have forgotten how to cry; to tear and empty my heart.
maybe that's not a skill.
nevertheless, when i feel pain, physically, mentally. i cannot cry.
maybe its because of my pride, me growing up.
i don't know.

God has his plans. whatever happens to us, it happens for a reason.
he works in way we cannot see.
believing this in everything i do.
i am blessed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2009-07-26T20:22:00.000+08:00

looks like i did something wrong eh?

one thing i learned. know priorities and let them be one's priorities.

too bad this time.

2009-07-23T23:15:00.004+08:00

ahh cant sleepp.

2 reasons.

1st reason:
i am not sleepy. i have been taking afternoon naps and everything... my sleeping hours are disrupted... gosh.

2nd reson:
i currently fear going to bed. because usually when i wake up, i nidda go to sch. i fear going to school late as it is one of the most troublesome things i face. so its like i wake up,, i see the face in front of me.. dark=safe, bright=die... thats my first reaction...

i also dun like going to bed as if i'm not sleepy, i tend to think. if i think, i worry, and yadayada.... thats where a;; the stress and depression comes in.

oh well.... i shld get used soon... and i want my interact wif computer time after 9.... 9 is a freggin time too early.. zzz

and how come everyone is getting sick recently... diao diaoz

today's clouds are indecisive and contradict-tive.

haizz. still cant sleep.... wad shld i do now??

2009-07-11T23:02:00.002+08:00

TODAY ROCKED!!!!

haha. went to ECP as grp outing for obedience~~~

n well i sorta learned how to ride a bike.(as mentioned in one of my previous posts) so i biked for abt 2 hrs~~ new record!!

first we went.. right(when facing the sea) and after the reached the end, we u-turn. halfway, it rained.. then i liked sense this urgency somewhere as my instincts were telling me. ya. then we reached where we started. i was so wet.
10 min later, the rain stopped(lucky~) and we continue in the opposite direction. while cycling, there was this rainbow on the sea. it was so big n so beautiful lah!!!!
then we cycle n cycle lor.

when the renting time is almost up, we headed back to the bike shop(the place where we started).as there was many people, i lost sight of the rest. then i cycle n my leg cramp... n becuz of the cramp, i realized i overshot the shop. so. i went back lor.

God really does things planned

on the way to the bus stop, i was telling yiyong that i got stitches(in my stomach area) and he heard teachers. n it became our tongue twister. stitches teachers stitches. n then yiyong hear citrus.... so ya. it became harder.
stitches teachers citrus stitches teachers citrus stitches teachers citrus......

after that at the bus trip back to AMK, we were deciding on where to eat. so its sushi or pizza.. in the end, pizza won. because of weishi n moyi. the two of them psycho the rest to eat pizaa n tada. there goes me n yiyong's sushi.....

then for some reason, we were boo-ing at smt weishi did. then she said: ' u think u guys ors-chrest-tra(orchestra) arh? n that, for some reson, became her nickname.
ors chrestra. so we started calling her chrestra

so we went pizza hut. eat n went to weien's house(the rest went home) to c yuzi shoot deers 'bang'. n play cards. weishi came home n was suprised i was there. xD. n we went home.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalas

2009-07-09T15:00:00.002+08:00

so far. sch has been getting more and more boring.

lessons today are crap.

first lesson, P.E.- volleyball was played. and i have absolutely no interest in it.

second lesson, F.N.(food and nutrition.. which is home-econs)- was doing research in com lab for deh coursework. so i was in front of computer. feeling tired(PE) and sleepy. and then there is this idiot in our class which is more irritating than the most irritating-est part of me. pissed..

third lesson, Cheenese. - was sleepy the whole period as the teacher told us to copy something for compo. for some reason, my hands wont budge. all my muscles are tired.

recess- a big bowl of laksa dint so the job today. so a second serving of rice. in the end, realized that food today didnt taste good.. for some reason.

Fourth lesson, humans(geog)- noting down things abt 'development'. this lesson was i think the best period today as the environment in the classroom is great and i get to rest. a lot.

fifth(last) lesson, English - the worst period of school.(everyday).. today was compo writing and again, my hands wun butch. lied on the table and kena called to stand for the next 10 min. in that 10 min, i was sleeping.[i was really that tired].. so at the end of lesson, i dint write a word on the foolscap paper. i dint even hav a paper to begin with. neither my pencil case. well, the teacher said that we shld put our bags outside. so i ..ya. dint bring anything.
ennd of lesson, teacher said that we must hand up to go home. (only a third of the class did the compo.) for some reason, my hands still arent moving. the teacher got meeting. went out of classroom. baabyee. there she goes. and there i go.

hisakgdvkgcdhnsajlkgfhbsd... boringg. oh well. n thats abt it. baa byeeeee~

2009-07-07T18:39:00.002+08:00

ahh. guess that its more or less about time for me to update my unconscious blog.=P

okay so I'm gonna summaries my holidays. (which are apparently a week and 2 days ago)
holiday is kinda boring. but fun memories are embedded into my mind because of it. well, everything got its pros and cons.
like in the holiday i have to work. in those time, i wish there were sch.
but on sch days, i have to wake up early and gotta learn how to sleep in class.
and that's exactly how things work.

okay. lets talk about recent stuff. on the sat that just passed, it was BBQ session with TQ! but i only enjoyed eating the first half as after that, yongjing taught me how to ride a bike! -hehe finally i'm learning- so ya i more or less learnt how to ride a bike, after learning for.. erm...... 1.5 hrs?
and then for some reason, ppl started to throw slippers at innocent (xD) bikers. then we were like betting on how abled are we able to aim, slippers at bikers. under two condition. to become a biker for 3 rounds and the biggest loser is to get tow pok!

so ya.. ride and throw and.. well. was a lot of childish fun! xD even though accidents happened. >.> and i missed out on eating corn, prawns and ... bombs? (to make it rhyme) oh well. n i think thats more or less abt it.

baaaa byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

2009-06-24T11:17:00.002+08:00

I'M FEELING SO DIZZY~~~

haha.. i found myself sick/fever yesterday n skipped cca prac and a extra lesson. 2day's as well.
the sleep i have yesterday was... scary~ i woke up every 1-2 hours and in the sleeping time. i dreamt about VERY VERY weird stuff. matters which i dont even know. my brained has been burnt temporarily dead. i think.
n holidays are ending. not sure if i shld feel happy or sad.

n ya. xD

2009-06-17T01:35:00.002+08:00

Pachelbel's Canon.

A song that has a same melody that repeats over and over again peacefully, gracefully and beautifully.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could also live constant lives while experiencing change bit by bit?

2009-06-02T23:02:00.004+08:00

gosh. i was pissed of yesterday.

got home. no one was there.
did some chores automatically like i never did be4 cuz i felt like.
parents got back.
asked for completed homework.
no more computer, do assessments.
tried to sleep.
siblings yakking like no one's business.
tried to chill out by trying to play keyboard.
still hear yakkings.
went to a place where liitle noise could be heard- the kitchen
ate some stuff to chill out more.
no more sound, brother came out to bother me.
stuufed all food into mouth and went back to bed.
yakking suddenly continued.
on the computer not caring abt anything.
blast-ed songs into ears.
parents said they could hear and complained.
i gave a bit of attitude as i was REALLY pissed off- but i knew i was wrong
parents gave back attitude.- but scolded siblings
felt kinda happy( i'm selfish)
watched anime to chill out.
finally, i get to sleep.

has been long since i really got this pissed off.
another thing that hit me was my father saying: ' u go out and come back always so tired, next time dun go out lah!' -in chinese
i got really pissed off like . ya who would not be. like 1 objective of going out is to chill out from parents and siblings.- sometimes. and ya.
and my mom is like nagging at me 1 min ago saying that i'm always in front of computer. oh well. irritating..

well. God does has his plans eh?.

2009-06-01T23:03:00.002+08:00

gosh.. how long has it been since i've played basketball... sure brings back memories...
talking abt memories... my house is sold-soon..

-bye house-

sad... oh well. heard that my parents are moving to a condo... in HOUGANG. hey eugene, i'm gonna be ur neighbour. xD.. well, everything has their pros and cons eh?

I DUN WANAA WORK!!! its like so troublesome. i'd rather go to school. at least i can sleep, stone and stare at the cloudy skies...
so tired..

for some reason i'm hating the holidays. i dun get to sleep late. i dun get to enjoy silence be4 sleep. i dun get to do wad i wan- like having to do so much irritating things. like reading cheena books. i dun get to wake up late. i nidda work. i dun even get to touch too much of my computer... why am i complaining this much?? .. oh well. God has his plans. i just wish that i'm able to make pleasant memories......

-short post.-

2009-05-28T15:44:00.003+08:00

okay. i got back my report book today and. well. here it is.

***********************************************************************
.............CA1...SA1...COMB.MKS...GRADE
English....60....54......56..........C5
Chinese...57....48......51..........C6
A Math....83....69......74..........A2
Math.......87....90......89..........A1
SCI(B,C)..74....83......80..........A1
(SS,G).....62....65......64..........B4
F&N........60....68......66..........B3

total:428/600 (71.3)
Class pos.: 3/40
L1R4: 12
L1R5: 16
Cocduct: very good
Attendance: 95/95
Comment: Leon is a pleasant and friendly boy who gets along quite well with his peers. He displays a positive attitude towards learning and academic pursuits though during class lessons, he often looks drowsy and fatigued. Academically, he is stong in Mathematics and science and has done relatively well this semester. Keep up the good work and excel in it next semester.

* whatever that is written here is 95% accurate as of rounding up of numbers and mistakes of mine.
**************************************************************************

haha.. like too much info. well. that is abt it. =)

2009-05-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

ok so.. ya my exams are over and well... , more or less got my results. but do u agree that it is better to have good things ahead and bad news after? well. i dun think so.

when i got my papers, i was happy, as the first paper was math, and i top the class.
the second paper i got was science(chem,bio) and i top the class too.
gradually, the numbers on the papers one by one get smaller.. until the last 2 papers.
english- 50%
chinese- 43%

yup. my languages are poor.. gotta work harder!!!!!
lalalas

but i still sleep in class a lot xD

now that exams are over, i'm at home almost all the time. therefore, the computer looks at me most of de time. its- bloghop, facebook, updates, anime, dota, anime.
like... ya. sian right?
ya more or less its lik tat.

and well, for some reason, i wanna play drums, its like so interesting. hit this, hit that and it makes a wonderful sound. when it accompanies, ts the best. hehe. thx yuzi!
but i'm not giving up on being a vocals nor my piano training though!~

yup and thats abt it, my results in details will be shown in abt 1 week time.
syonara~~

2009-05-09T23:06:00.002+08:00

exams are over and this week, i learned A LOT of things.

firstly. studies, i cant feel stress and have been playing com everyday during the exam week. yet, i can make it. stress is a good thing, but i dont like it, its troublesome. cuz it makes me wanna study but i dont wanna. but i still studied. oh well.
and i too realized that a-maths is not ordinary maths. its not just understanding it. but till now, i still cannot figure a way to tackle it. oh well..

secondly. my foot hurts. first he show me how to hurt it, and he told me not to do it. i was stubborn. and therefore. -HI BLISTER!-
1 more thing is that, i'm really very lousy and weak. i don't like it yet i cant do anythings about it - in a way. therefore i must work harder.

the other thing is. viva la vida is really a nice song.

last thing. yay!~ its holiday on monday yet today is saturday. but there goes another saturday.

thats about it.

2009-04-28T18:33:00.000+08:00

exams are here again...

2009-04-21T17:09:00.002+08:00

... has been some time since i blogged. has always been telling myself to blog but.. i would be like. oh well. and there goes 1 day. fortunately. mine blog wont be like yuzi's.. mines too stubborn. xD

my life now is just like a normal typical student day. go sch. get home. eat-study-play-sleep. and the last weekend was not so fun too. saturday was steamboat with lammy's group. and sunday.. haiz.. every1 just has to go home early... but still i went to gene's house to slack. (dun wan go home mah)

the next thing is..testS and examS.next week my exam will start and then i will be a long time of suffering. till the holidays. which is so very far. but for once, i'm not worried for my test. i'm just angry at them- cuz they eat up my energy. oh well.

for now i dun really have to stay back at school till anymore cuz syf is over~. got silver. which is like 6 years since peirce got 1. but still, i have to stay back for extra lessons. i finally understand y people is happy to go home early because it really is irritating. (hey it rhymes) but i am coping with my work well. even i can get a B4 for my chinese.

now i'm lacking sleep AGAIN- for some reason.
and i have been vaery lazy lately. i only wish for 1 thing. to slack. and to sleep in free periods.

oh well. guess that this is the live before exams. suffer this through an i get to enjoy! easy to say huh.

and thats abt it.

2009-04-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

AHHHHH. i'm like so exhausted.. and tired.

This is the most busiest and unfun week since.. erm...i can remember.
not to mentioned that my life was not so fun since the end of the holidays.
nope not the march holidays. the EOY holidays.
gosh i miss them.

i was practically staying back after school everyday since last thursday.
well but i got a day of rest. on sundaye.
all the SYF and speech day practice.
makes me not like singing- to a certain extend.

I lack sleep- this is what i can infer
Monday- got to school just on time- 7.19
tuesday- late at 7.21
wednesday- late at 7.25
thursday- late at 7.27
friday- super late at 7.50- woke up at 7.15
(My school has a 'habit' of giving people a green slip to record their no. of times just on time. for me its 4 times. and gives people a pink slip for being not so late yet late. and also a pink slip for being late.)

Well i sorta mix up the two pink slips. therefore on the friday slip i put on 'no. of times late' 4. i was told to call my parents. and well.. the guy in office check the no. of times late for me AFTER CALLING and found out i was only late once. then i was like.i woke up my mum. cant u freakin have another colour for the super late slip.
and then i was late for my class test. too tired to study. Thank God it was an open book test and i managed to finish! woots!

oh well today was speech day and stayed at school till 8. on the performance i was like freaked out. i wanted to laugh at my conductor as he was making funny faces trying to make us smile. well i kept my cool. after all there was this thing known as stage-stress found in my dictionary and some more principal in front row. therefore, this was how i kept my cool.

After that was Free DINNER! even though the packaging was. blehh.. oh well the food taste good though. we were unable to have the buffet served in canteen and was told to eat beehoon in deh indoor stadium. people were like complaining abt that.
i got to irritate a senior after dinner by throwing his bag into the basketball net. it stuck there. i was laughing like crabp. (maybe i shld do that to eugene too) well since i was a good guy i help him get his bag down.

and well that is the end of my school week. Syf prac tomorrow morning. going to lack sleep.

even though i dun really want to sleep now. XDXD hehe

thx fer tyme!

2009-03-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

I seriously think that i'm day dreaming too much...

2009-03-13T15:31:00.003+08:00

OH YEAH!@#$%^& i am finally home! xD

finally the 1 week holiday is here. and i'm not dreaming!

finally the time to not wake up at 6.
not to take bus at 7
not to get late for school at 7.30. xD

all the mugging for term 1 has finally produced results. of:

English- ...... 64% .... B4
Chinese- ..... 60% .... B4
A math- ...... 80% .... A1
E math- ...... 94% .... A1
Sci(B,C)- ..... 72% .... A2
CH(SS,G)- ... 59% .... C5
F&N- .......... 45% .... D7

L1R5-- 17

yup, my results. not quite happy about it. since i failed F&N.
talking abt this subject, i was lucky to get 45% since i pass my common test but failed my class test. i got 11.5/25 at first. then managed to scrap 1 mark out of the paper. thus, i passed!

but then again, i'm happy with my chinese results. since i got an B4.
God helped me in this. at first i got a total score of 26/50 for my common test, spotted a mistake, got 1 mark, re-test, get 3 marks. therefore. got 30/50.. i'm one lucky kid xD.

and yay.. get to celebrate a fellow fwb-ian's birthday! hope that it is gonna be fun. hehe.. i'm being so self-centered. last year his was at sentosa. and had a blast of a basketball game.. in the rain and OHYA. the very comfortable part of the sand beside the court. forgotten the feeling though. only remembered that it is comfy~~ btw..

how come i know nth abt the yuzi's celebration?

....oh.. well. maybe i got senile.

okay and well. that's is.

2009-02-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

okay... i've got nothing to say really but since people want me to update. tadaa~ i'm here.

okay.. lets see. all my test are currently over except for a-math, a subject which i dont know how to study, tomorrow.
And biology, supposedely-supposely ok i dont know how to spell... oh ya com got auto dic.. hang on.... supposedly!! ok i shall continue.
biology which is.... supposedly tested today has been postponed to friday because my bio teacher is very linear and postpone it because of the give out recycling projet flyer thingy. the postpone. is it good or bad. i dont know. cuz like over then can relax liao. but postpone have more time to study.

ohya and recently, i've been REALLY tired for some reason. cant do things right.. got more careless, more forgetful (like i forgot today got dance prac) and sleepier. even now. xD. haiz. dont mind if i got that open mouth habit again.. always got that when i'm feeling this tired.. -yawns-

ohya. currently i'm typing on a new keyboard, clicking on a new mouse.. wireless! and the keyboard is flat.. and really soft too. i got a bigger screen and a new cpu! hehe.. audition no lag lor! finally can play club XD. but now like nobody play liao. not even eugene. haiz.

okay.. nth else more. and i've been working on a new poem. titled 'time' look forward to it. xDxD

-love daydreaming-ing recently-

so much for my nth to say eh? xD
okay i shall end here~~~~~~~~~~~~~wee~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2009-02-15T00:18:00.002+08:00

Happy valentines everyone!

firstly, thanks for all the chocolates I've received!!! like Toblerone and.. erm.. Toblerones. xD

this day is currently one of the days i had this much fun and also the best valentine's, even though it was.. erm nutella-ly and peanutty.. flour-ry and watery.. and very dirty and also very tiring, i learnt some new (general) knowledge..
like the legs of the short table in church's canteen is actually hollow and can contain water.., yachad camp shirt really suffers (first the creamy haed thingy, now nutella.)

yup.. and eugene suffers too. cuz he kana scared by yiyong of sayin TAU POKKKKK! and being tau pok. ohh and being the highest guy (for once) in TQ! xD hehe.. oh and he also learnt how to walk squatting down without lifting up her legg..

okay... i shall copy GL

and so... we... go.... XDXD

2009-02-13T21:49:00.003+08:00

We're seeking our fleeting dreams in a world with no answers
The shining blaze in my heart will convey my wish

We're seeking our endless dreams in a world with no guidance
Even if I lose this light someday
there will still be the shining blaze you lit in my heart
We'll turn these fragments of hope into wings

We're seeking our endless dreams in a world with no guidance...

With tangled emotions and a heart-piercing beat,
our ballad continues, quietly and without faltering

From the other side of the far-off sky, our shadows blur together
Our memories are chronicled somewhere between whim and inevitability.

Even if everything decays in the whirlpool of time we spent passing each other by,
I'll believe in your voice

We're seeking our endless dreams in a future with no guidance
Even if I lose this light someday
there will still be the shining blaze you lit in my heart
We'll turn these fragments of hope into wings

An unceasing rain and a gently-soaked moon
I don't care if I get hurt; I just want to move on, blown about by the wind
A look from your clear, innocent eyes cuts through the darkness
We'll pass through despair and loneliness and leave our mark behind

During the time I spent distorting myself to avoid creating ties,
I felt you there
We're following a fleeting path in a world with no answers
When you're suddenly lost and unable to move forward,
my heart will shine and show the way to a hopeful tomorrow
- Blaze

2009-01-29T23:14:00.003+08:00

jinchi DAO~ dengdengdengdengdeng
wo kan dao~ dengdengdengdengdeng
wo kan dao ni zai wo blog men kou~

jiao ke ren~ dengdengdengdengdeng
kuai dian tag~ dengdengdengdengdeng
tag zai wo_ de tagboard shang!

xD.. chinese new year song. sry my com no chinese program so. han yu ping yin lor

2009-01-26T02:10:00.001+08:00

okayy now is 2 am after the eve of cheenese new year.. cant really take it even though i'm not suppose to sleep (to play com) as and it as an excuse.. okay nitez... bai nian tmr ! ang bao.. any married couples giving me?

fishes are amazing

2009-01-24T18:20:00.006+08:00

TRUST ME. fishes are amazing equations below are prove!

fish + lion = merlion
fish + human = mermaid

fish + water = fish tank
fish + boiling water = fish soup

fish + dry land = fish corpse
fish + dry heat = chao da fish (for me lah cuz i cannot cook well)

fish + paper = origami
fish + poop = bad pets

fish + egg = ermm.. did u try be4?
fish + mushroom = err. i dont know

ohya! fish + eugene = mer-niang xD

okay recently nth to do.. been eating fish yesterday and watching one-piece. (mermaids) so.. ya creating this post.. hehe

2009-01-16T17:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when u hav no goals in the day.. nothing seems to do.. like u can do nth. and have to just stone and waste time.. haizz..

2009-01-14T17:07:00.002+08:00

You can find many reasons to, but with just 1 reason not to, its over.

i formed this with the thought of the upcoming new dance ministry. i hesitated. i cant find an answer. for some reason. but after reading yihui's blog. her reason was a lot more 'acceptable' than mine. and it kinda make me think. getting out of ya comfort zone. WWJD......

now i am still hesitating. but well. ahbishkaboom!

You can find many reasons to, but with just 1 reason not to, its over.
With the help of God. nothing is

2009-01-03T02:09:00.002+08:00

LAIII gong xi fa cai, hong bao na lai XD

a very lame phrase that kids uses. hehe

ANWs. happy new year. have no fear.for the year
many thoughts for the year.. and amazingly during the fireworks at marina. i was thinking. watching this means that 08 was over.. how was 08.. afraid of the year pass by. not wanting to enter 09. but like yuzi says.. dun look backwards.. look forward. (if I'm not wrong)so ya.. I'm here on Saturday . the third day of 09. at a amazing hour. thinking of what to look forward to.
firstly
1. the badminton meet-up in 11 hrs.
2. tq + uniform = -mourns- (no 1 to suan wearing cath high's short pants)
3. more fun times with people around me.

-sighs-

okayss EOS. TY fer yer tyme.

2008-12-28T02:08:00.001+08:00

YESSS finally mei mong chen zhen. my new blog skin! a html 1 hehe... i was like admiring all u guys.. so many blogskins to choose from.. me finally have 1 too! yeah!

Clannad

2008-12-23T03:01:00.002+08:00

The best anime. The worst anime. The most beautiful anime. The ugliest anime.

Clannad. a story. a touching story. even at its after story.

it contains a whole lot of meaning to it. and everything fits.

it does not thrill you physically. it touches you emotionally.

it surround around the themes of love. friendship. relationship.

this anime. above the bests.

2008-12-22T20:59:00.001+08:00

this blog is REBORNED!! revival of blogg.. TAGGY PLZ

2008-12-09T00:48:00.003+08:00

Hey fellow FWBs. thx for everything and..... everything xD well. the cake the suprise and the present.. a sincere thanks from me. and yiyong, ziyu and yuzi.. thx for the happy birthday song. band version! hehe.

TIME TO PRACTISE JAPANESE

FWB no minah. arigato-yo. ano present-to, suprise-to, cakee-to. nakama-da. arigato!

hehe.. my very cui jap. xD

anyway.. replying to weien.. dun say those things cui. whats needed is the heart hidden within them.. so.. ya. thx. gummies~~~~~~

2008-12-01T11:58:00.003+08:00

well. every1 changed. in 2 years time. physically. mentally. spiritually. the 'feel' is definitely good. that the world is always changing. into better things. (y is the HDB bell or smt like that playin now.???? sry being random) it was still sort of cold last year. with yuzi's seriousness. like accidentally dropping a wrapper and not realising it n him getting all angry abt it... n now. its like he ate a lot of ice to chill out. but he still doesnt like littering. well. i can think of a lot of changes.

yesterday.match wif hakka. was sick. but still stubbornly went. was that a blessing in disguise. or jus me being sick. well. God does things in his different and surprising ways.
now recovered. wif a bit of a sore throat

anws.. thank God that my head isnt dizzy anymorezzzzz and giving me water. for my sore throat. and

sign off,
jinchi
12.08 pm

want to irritate eugene now..

the start of my happy life.

2008-11-13T01:06:00.002+08:00

well there was this day. 1 year ago. where we went to AMK hub to have lunch (or dinner) after worship (or TQ) arggg i forgotten.

anw... we went to subway, my second time dining there. if i remembered correctly. there was me, yuzi, eugene, grace, yihui, jingwen and weien. lets just say the earlier form of FWB..

we were like eating. ( me with my monstrous eating speed) and we linked something to a conversation abt kickapoo. like its actually kick-a-poo. and well.. gave stupid comments to it. and ta-da. every1 was laughing.

then weien and yuzi were like making us laugh. they got along so well making us laugh we made them 'ah gong' and 'ah ma' even though 'ah ma' became 'tai ma'.

to be frank, i remember this and wanted to post abt this is becuz its my first outing wif dahhh FWBs. and i really wanna say thank you to you guys. a source of my energy. thank you

and readers. thank you for ur time. may God bless us.

my goals

2008-11-10T00:37:00.002+08:00

i want to a person
an indispensable person to everyone
helping others as much as possible

having a carefree personality being with nakamas*
cheering people up as much as possible

having Him living in my heart
give his love and spread his words to people

a person who loves music
trying to get better with my music skills

wishing for peace
never want a argue where people does not get anything good

having much fun
not forgetting about expanding my knowledge

yearning for many things
too much for me to handle.

luckily. there is our heavenly father looking over us
throwing our sins away to a place we could never reach
giving us a eternal life

TY for yer time~

my vision of me, not physically -1

2008-11-02T22:51:00.002+08:00

A box. created to shield myself from evil stuff since i was born.
Inside here, it is very cold and there is no light, everything is limited
In this world, people are not organisms. they are tools
Here, barriers are formed.. which decrease the area of the box
Hate, love, friendships all these stuff are particles in the air which i breathe from
This world.. only God can visualize

sometimes.. tool appear in front of me. heaters, air-cons. Barrier-hammer.. even food.
air is made from memories i have

Cooped up in this world.. everything outside seems so far..as this happens. more barriers are formed

as a child, i am always being ostracized.. not caring about them is always what i do. Only having a friend or two.

Only until the age of 13.. a torchlight was given to me.. many sources of energy which is infinite was also found.. the turning point of my life!

till now.. i am still at this stage.. God giving necessary things that i wanted. bit by bit.

YOU, if you understand what i am talking about.. THANK YOU. if you dont.. try asking yourself what kind of a tool you are in my world.

sorry for this weird post but well.. wanted to say it out
n well.. thanks for your time.

Dreamland

2008-10-18T00:22:00.003+08:00

How long ago was my last visit
to the only place i can get if i sleep

Where is the key
to open the door of thee

Must i really think a lot
before i sleep
so as to get there??

Be it a nightmare or a beautiful one
it is just to get some fun

So now.. please give me the keys of dreamland
for i do not ever want it to end

oh well. after all it is just a place of fantasy
so i shall not be so fussy.

2day's bball

2008-10-18T00:07:00.002+08:00

well firstly.. i am going to specify wad do i mean by today.. its actually the 17th of october...a friday..
we went to yihui's house at 4.30(pm) to met up.. drag drag drag.. 5 den start warming up.. well ya..and den for the abc's i was like the last round den i in.. and qinyi ended it.. sad..
played a match match and well ya.. after that ting2 came and it was a good thing.. cuz she thaught me the most important thing abt scoring: where to aim. plp said i must aim, less strength more strength. and well ya.. and now.. at least i can score! *cheers*
and well. it was dark soon after.. they still playin.. i stop liao.. cant stand the flies flying around lah.. like SO irritating.
(OHYA. the moon is orange.. like so eerie and cool lol)
And well. the very punctual yuzi reached. it was 8.30 den.. played until say like 9.30.and den eugene went like 'wa. 9.30 liao ar.. i must reach home at 9.30 leh. latest 9.45!' and he flew home.
well. went to the market nearby and whew.. the MRT underground passage and heartland mall de air-con shi suang de lor! yihui was yearning for tau huay.. so we went to selegie's (the stall.. not the place) and eat.. but some of us ended up eating noodles. xD
well and thats abt it yeah? k
thx for yer time!
FYI: i got my left no name finger injured.n i found out i grew another 5 cm.. currently abt 175 cm woots!.( mus win yiyong!)

the life after exams..

2008-10-13T22:25:00.002+08:00

currently exams are over
its time to enjoy
go macs eat foldover
using aluminum foil..

lets play badminton, basketball, captain's ball or even go swimming
or we can play Daidi, Chinese chess or even mahjong

lets enjoy while we can shall we? even some of us are like brain dead.. hand dead.. and many more 'deads'.

so.. now... do u agree? if yes thank you.. if no.. also thank you..
and well. thank you for yer time!

EXAMS...

2008-09-29T17:47:00.003+08:00

Each year there are a few of this, it is something we must not miss
XD... well, IT IS for our future...
After the last one, we get lots of fun
Many good things comes to an end, and here we are back to square 1!
So now... shall we study for it?

i noe its kinda lame but well.. jus wanted to blog...

what is love? (to me)

2008-09-26T13:45:00.003+08:00

LOVE a noun
1. something God is always giving us
2. something that we thirst for.. when we lost a source of it(a human 1), we will find another...
3. something we cannot get easily
4. something we are always yearning for even though we already have

The moon

2008-09-16T14:47:00.003+08:00

I wanna be the moon
being so big in the night's sky
it feels i could reach it very soon
as it is not very high

The moon isnt very bright
but it is the only big round thing up there at night
i think i am right
as i dun wanna fight

The night sky has many stars
i dun really noe how far they are
but the moon look the biggest
even though it is the smallest

I wanna be the moon
which is near
even though it is small
to aid people when the road is dark