Bubble bubble~ Floating bubble~
Blew from a thin film of soapy waterr~
Water water~ Soapy water~
Slipping away, through those fingers~
Fingers fingers~ Ten little fingers~
Poke the bubbles into water~
Floating bubble~ Stubborn bubble~
Float away in a little bubble~
Glittering bubble~ Floating bubble~
Loves the fingers who held you so~
Bubble bubble~ Dear little bubble~
You'll stay near those fingers who loves you so.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 3:00 AM
19 July 2013
Looking back and finally having some time to reflect.
I realised that recently.
I've been getting swallowed up by life.
Getting emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausted
So easily.
So frequently.
That it kinda puts me into a constant state of being disorientated.
And it now takes so much effort to interact, improve relationship.
With friends.
With family.
With the people I care about.
(With myself?)
And most importantly. Even with God.
Not being able to have the personal time. To think and reflect.
Constantly being surrounded by people. By sound, noises. By their presence.
Its easy to stop seeing when too many things are visually going on. Just close your eyes. And it stops.
But.
Sounds.
They don't. There isn't a way to get away from them.
I've been needing silence so much.
Such that.
When I'm in an place filled with people. And countless conversations are going on at the same time.
I get irritated. I get into a slight state of hyperventilation.
My mind will then go into a blur. I stop focusing. I panic. I try to run...
If I get to. I'm good. If not... I don't know..
I get irritated by noisy people. Who makes noise at the most little of things. They. Look like they have a lot of things to say. But what comes out of their mouths are just rubbish.
Things that are the least of importance. Even less than that.
Just shut up. Will you?
...
The lack of personal and quiet time also has deprived me of quiet time with God..
This is probably just an excuse. An evil distraction.
Finally got songs loaded into my phone. Finally can put that pair on and shur off noises.. hopefully.
And hopefully. This. Can help me get some quiet time...
I thank God tho. For so much. For his grace and sacrifice. To enter me personally thru his Holy Spirit.
So that I can really live. And not just be passing time.
Which I have been doing a lot... again..
Looking forward to booking out. Fearing booking in. And thus distract myself.
Getting swallowed up by life..
Pray for me.
Lord. Take care of me. I need you. I'm sorry for not spending time with you. And running away. Distracting myself using the time you have graced upon me. Forgive me Lord. I am weak Lord. I am nothing without you Lord. Give me strenght. Such that I can survive this. Continue providing me with your love. Such that I can be your live to be your witness. And love others using your love Lord.
Thank you for the people you have given me Lord. Thank you so much...
Sorry for being so confusing. I just... I don't know my needs and wants. And. I just get tired to see what's going on at times. Thanks. For understanding.
..
And. Back to the reality I go.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:03 AM
14 July 2013
Letting go.. Forgiving.. Forgetting..
How similar are they?
Things i did not have the fortune to have..
Things that leaves holes and emptiness behind.
Things that do not destroy but still damage..
Hey God. It hurts.. it really hurts. ..
But thanks. for what you've given me instead.
Thanks..
Thanks. :) ~written~ 7:13 AM
13 July 2013
Nyaaaa nyaa nyaaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa
nya nya nya nya nyaaa. Nya nya nya nya
Nyaaaa nyaa nyaaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa
NYA NYA NYA NYA NYAA. Nya nya nya nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. :D
-applause-
~The End~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 2:05 AM
28 June 2013
Renacted memories that seems so real
On that lonesome chair, what I've been longing for slapped sand in. Acid fills up. Raindrops fall.
What is real feels like my delusion.
Maybe it's just all inside my head.
Maybe it didn't happen at all.
Maybe I turned mental amd started living in this world that just.... had.. so much joy. So much blessings..
Are they real?
Just a look back into that deep dark abyss. Just a figment of thoughts.
Will I die if I enter it..?
Will I have to go back..?
Insomnia.
Sleep.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 8:01 AM
16 June 2013
Once again, I'm wide awake in the middle of the night... The night is still wonderful to me. Quiet.... Cool... and best of all. There isn't a 'Time's up'
A few hours. free for me to spend. no worries of it ending. and that it gently ends with slumber...
***
So little time i get.
Time. is such an abstract idea.
I don't understand it.
What is time..?
Living in the present.
What just happened is in the past.
The past. did it really happen?
The present can easily make the past seem unreal. that, it could have just been a fragment of your imagination. for it is not in the present. The present... makes the past unbelievable...
Then, there's the future. The future is going to be a present. which means that now is going to be a past. In the future, i would feel that that is all that is real. And now may seem unreal. Then again. Now is real to me.
So. what's real. What isn't. What is time?....
maybe it's just me in different places and situations.... and subconsciously just stopping links from being created...
just ignore me ranting about nonsense in the middle of the night...
***
A quarter of my NSF life is over.
Still hate it.
***
Another season of haze.
Weather is bad.
My health if affected.
end of weather report
***
Sighs. really miss interacting with music...
***
Looking forward to Worship later...
Be with me Lord... I'm tired...
***
Long walks and getting lost.
Glass doors and portraits.
Wooden boxes and hand sanitizer.
Orange lightings and noisy works.
Potato and banana
Sits down and stone
Cold and home.
Warmth and end.
Thanks and. .....
***
Air con is nice.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:30 AM
07 June 2013
Where are the days, when others were the one who made things fun.
Where are the days, when that group of seniors would constantly write notes to each other to encourage one another.
Where are the days, when i'll look forward to entering that wooden carpeted room every Saturday at 3.30pm.. or even earlier to just soak in that place.. and hopefully meet someone to be with.
Where are the days, when we need to do whatever nonsense, we would just take 165 or 132 to that apartment. with everyone.. where so much nonsense has happened.
Where are the days, where people will assign a BFF to you..... and that you'll just make so much... so much memories with him..
Where are they... the smiles that appears so easily... the friendship.. the love.. the place even..
So much changes.... So much loss.. that all just becomes a fragment of memory...
... just memory...
is that enough..?......
hopefully..
It just.. isn't the same anymore aye... can't be the same anymore aye...
長大了... 事情也都不一樣了...
What was graced upon me.. Things gained now.. The ____ past that shaped me.. The growth i had.
I'm very thankful for all of it..
Never stop dreaming.
と
Never forgot your past.
Kid, It's over. Live with it. take care of it.
More good will come. Be patient, hope for them. And the Lord who loves you will graciously give to you.
And continue to treasure what you have now. what you hold dear. what you love.
なつかしいですね..?
How nostalgic it is to once again walk down memory lane.. 3am aye. haha... sheesh.
Take care. You'll pull through.
Thank you God... Thank you...
じゃあね
おやすみ
Thanks. :) ~written~ 3:22 AM
03 June 2013
When the music fades.
And all is stripped away.
And I simply come.
...
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself.
Is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within.
Through the way things appear.
You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship...
It's all about you.. All about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord... For the things I've made it....
It's all about you... Just all about you Jesus.
And. This song simply summarises the recent period I've went through.
Too focused on the technical aspects of music... And closing up to worship.
Too focused on the things I'm graced with... And forgetting to see God.
But.. He's just... Always there..
Always reaching out for me.. Waiting for me to turn to Him... Once again open up to Him....
Even though I simply forget about Him at times...
Such that.. The moment I sang.. He touched me.. And I felt His presence once again.
It has always been just.. All about Him.
Thats all i have to do.
I admit I'm forgetful. But. This reminder. This song. Has once again led me and reminded me that. It's just all about Him. Nothing else really matters.
Things I've done. To upset him. Yet He still forgives and Love me unconditionally... How great He is..
Thank you Lord..
Things. will always turn out fine. As long as God is always at the centre of it.
Let's. walk this walk together aye. And grow spiritually. Leggo~ ^^
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:23 PM
29 May 2013
I'm really glad to be blessed with the ability to learn and pick up skills fast.
Coupled with the curiosity I have, it just makes me want to learn everything.
The interest for so many things.
But. The commitment level I have for things can be really low.
I learn for fun. The initial growth, of exposure, knowledge and mastery of a particular skill, can be exciting and thrilling.
But there always comes a point when it isn't so easy to progress anymore.
The mundane practice of the skill in order to reach the next level. This commitment. And inevitability, Is what truly (I feel) makes the difference of something I can truly interested in and can be committed to.
I love music. And yes. I'm at the mundane part of it now. Where it's really hard to find growth and I'm just practicing and practicing.
But. It's fun. The mundane practice in itself is fun and enjoyable. I'm just playing it. For myself. For God. And striving to be better.
It doesn't really matter what purpose I'm playing for.
To just play it for my enjoyment.
To have quiet time through music.
Or to perform for others.
It doesn't matter. I love music. And I just wanna be able to interact with it. Simply because it's enjoyable to.
Realization of things. The wisdom provided and gained through this journey of life.
Thank you God. ^^
Continue taking care of me and what I love.
Even though many pressures in this world can put stress easily. I want to be able to stay true to my commitments Lord. And I need you for that.
May I continue mature spiritually and mentally in this walk with you. Amen.
You're good~ :]
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:20 PM
08 May 2013
'God will reward you in an unimaginable amount so large, when you choose to stay faithful' -from a certain sermon and. *rephrased*
In my spiritual journey with Him. I've learnt so much more about him. And knowing that there's how much more that I still don't know about Him. How great His love is for me such that I couldn't understand it. And still unable to comprehend it.
'Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.' -Matthew 7:7
Recently. I've personally experienced how this has actually more truth than I thought it would have.
To ask for your wants sincerely.
God loves me that much to give it to me.
To seek help and assistance when I desperately needed them. God will always be there to listen to my cries.
Knock to the door of wisdom and paths. It might open slowly. But. God will surely open it to me.
我们爱,因为神先爱我们。
Thank you for Your love..., Everything, Lord. And continue to bless me and take care of me in my steps ahead. Amen.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:30 AM
03 May 2013
Has. Been a really long time since I came here lol.
Not sure a good thing. Or a bad thing.
But. I know for sure. The time that has passed have definitely made me change. Not exactly the time per de. But situations I'm in.
I've enlisted on December 2012. Has been 5 months since then. And I'm really grateful for the support I have. People who I can talk to when I need. And all the prayers given to me.
And of course. Without God. My journey would have definitely been much worse. Considering how much he has given me. Haha.
Recently. I've gotten the courage to be able to see more. Think more. Feel more.
And these. Definitely made me learn more about being human.
I've been able to sort out alot of things that had happened to me. Gotten alot of answers. Made alot of links.
And I thank God for that wisdom that He has given me through the opinions of others.
And. Haha. This place. Is prolly going to be much quieter from now on. Not exactly getting much time to write here. Should I continue to? Haha. See how la huh? Maybe I would. Hehe.
I guess. Only time will reveal... Aye? Pop~~
Gummy~ thanks for being sweet and always being around to cheer me up. Haha. Nomznomz
Byezz
Thanks. :) ~written~ 3:28 AM
13 November 2012
So many beginnings
So much experienced gain
So much realization
When clouds i once saw is what i now grasp.
More clouds i see in this unending wide sky.
'Fly me there.' i wished
But how tall i can get now will remain the same.
to have my feet on the ground yet only able to reach some clouds.
why must my feet be on the ground?
why must gravity exist?
So small, what i can see is so small.
Who am I? to boldly ask for such great things.
Gracefully given and yet unsatisfied.
So tired.. On this journey to discover myself..
rest i need. refuge i seek.
Take care of me Lord.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 7:03 PM
12 July 2012
Tools. Weapons.
They are the same thing, it's just the perspective.
And EVERYTHING can be used.
I've been thinking a lot, about songs.
Like yeah, music is an art, it's a time machine.
It soothes the soul, it glorifies.
They're lovely, one of the greatest tool ever invented by the wisest of all.
But songs, as a weapon?
Well, personally, i didn't know it could be.
The lyrics could encourage, heal people in need.
Talk about experiences in loving someone.
Or they could just be something so random and nonsensical that just makes it a fun joke.
people will listen the songs the like over and over again, and well, the lyrics get inside your head.
And it'll become a part of you, consciously, subconsciously.
Now, i find many pop artists singing about wanting fame, money.
Undoubtedly, they are good, but well, i'm afraid that these songs may start to control. Make me go after things that i shouldn't be chasing after.
Listen, understand. Then love it.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:32 PM
27 June 2012
After 2 weeks of holidays. School, inevitably, restarts.
'A's in... 4 months?
A constant battle of stress and procrastination.
This aint 'O's, the same strategy doesn't seem to e working out...
well... it's picking up tough.. my motivation.
But suddenly from lazing around in holidays (mentally as well), the sudden stimulation is really causing undesirable side effects... ones that have rooted since long ago.
Let's just tide through this one as well...
cranky post. bye.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:11 AM
15 April 2012
Why?
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:23 PM
08 March 2012
Romance. Is something i am still searching for. Reading stories are really inspirational. Dreaming is still a thing i do all the time. But as Albus Dumbledore says, It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Build those aerial castles. and start building foundations to support it.
Be proud of the romance you're journeying upon. This odyssey will be a lifelong what. Pretty much what life is all about.
And this, shall be a reminder to keep me looking forward with inspiration.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:46 PM
29 January 2012
... when did i turn into sucha pessimist? used to be so carefree. responsibilities eh?... sighs.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:13 PM
16 January 2012
Why does the itsy bitsy spider climb up the spout over and over again even though it knew it will still be washed down by the rain? That much effort, against the blazing sun and the strong winds, just to see whatever imaginary good things it assumed will above? Even after being washed away by the rain so many times, it still continued to seek what isn't there. That romance? or just stupid masochism?
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:05 AM
12 January 2012
Recently, all the dreams i have in my sleep are about japan.....
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:11 AM
03 January 2012
Why? its everywhere....
why is it so deeply rooted in my life? why did i let it? why is it of such importance to me? why can't i enjoy it? why does it hurt?
why..
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:41 AM
26 December 2011
I thought i was able to control it. but when it came back again, i couldn't. And now it's eating me up. how much more? till i actually break? i really want to give up fighting.... just go away... would you?
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:10 PM
15 December 2011
Damn. Seeing death in front of you isn't pleasant at all. screw you.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:11 AM
05 December 2011
I realised that i've really been caring too little about the details...
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:04 AM
03 December 2011
The direction my character is heading towards is not really good apparently.
Looking back, an attention attracting, ignorant, arrogant and insensitive stupid lil kid? pretty sure i was. Felt the need and pressure to change? Yeap. Stepped away from that dark zone. Quiet. And observed as much as possible... i learnt. But wait. something's missing. it aint fun.. i started finding self-esteem and well. everything was good. I was good. I felt good... until it grew too big. I was too good. moving me into the grey area. Arrogance came back. Insensitivity slipped back. To find fun, anything can come out. The most lethal weapons of humans. accidents occur. injuries made which you regret.
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Once again i see the need to change. But this time it isn't ignorance. It's pride. Sorry for people who i've offended. I didnt mean it that way...
A man's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.
Thank you Lord.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:36 PM
28 November 2011
What's real and what's not? well, now what actually seems surreal is the fact that I'll be back to school and stressing out for exams in around a month...
Seriously... this is the first time I actually feel like giving up. ... ..
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:52 PM
20 November 2011
No. please stop reminiscing.... it hurts.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 1:42 AM
13 November 2011
Having interest in everything eh?
Well, as a perfectionist, i strive to be capable. And being able to do many things. But i lack many many factors to be perfect. Fear, Courage, Motivation, Perseverance......
But well. Is it bad to have many interest? Well, to be stubborn in your believes and rejecting everything without taking interest in it at all, for one, i dare say is not good.
Well, Jack of all trades and master of all? That seems too perfect and ideal. But well, that doesn't mean that i can't learn and try everything right?
Well, logically, even if i can't be better at stuff compared to others at something, i probably would be able to do many other stuff that he can't do.
Well. frankly speaking, i don't know. Pros and cons but still, this path is one that i feel like soaring towards.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 4:53 PM
09 November 2011
I realised i always like to write something here when i get sentimental..
Well, there have really been some really fond times in the past. remembering them is beautiful, but at the same time, painful.
Why must time flow, or maybe, why is there time? Sometimes, weird thoughts like this just flies around. Well, i can easily argue with myself, but stubbornness would then play it's part. Making me complain about what only is in front, the pain. While not logically thinking. You just can't get the best of both worlds eh?
Sentiments aside,
well i finally finished my last academic event of the year yesterday. Finally letting off that last burden to it's destination. So light, So free. But then again, i'm back to square one. No destinations.
I need to make some money, but i've got no time..
sighs. messy post. sorry, bye.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:25 PM
30 October 2011
Truth to be told, I really love literature. Even though for fact that i got an F9 for lit in sec2... Interest, but no aptitude. i guess. Or maybe then, art was oblivious to me. But now. i do wish that i have learnt lit. maybe not academically but just.. as an interest i guess. haha but then again, ironically. i'm still moving on, learning and seeing how words work.
One thing i really love about lit is descriptive writing. Some authors can really express that very moment, that very scene in words! And when imagination takes it's course, beautiful things appear. Thank God. Unfortunately, words a typical me would write are usually summarised. To a point where everything is kinda vague. No descriptions, no details... Really envy them. If i could put down what i feel. describing them. on paper (or bytes). How great, wonderful and beautiful would that be? But well. this castle is not one i'm planning to put sand ad stone below on. maybe just one that when i soar and it's there, i'll go in, talk a walk around and just enjoy being in that presence. Thank you.
************************************************ Well. for now, i'll just get back down to earth and take care of my health, and my chinese paper tomorrow. or today, since its 12...04 . Oh Happy Halloween~ :D
Let's fly.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:50 PM
16 October 2011
I really have so much thoughts i want to put in here. But everything's, well.. not organized. So much musing done. Yet not having the ability to write them down in words nicely. so much for being a perfectionist.
Sorry. But thanks anyway. :)
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:56 PM
04 September 2011
Haha. It's nice to let loose and have fun once in a while.
With that group of people who has known you as the stupid lil' kid, tearing out of that pit and just losing all sense of wisdom, becoming back to a kid.
-Losing wisdom to become clever.-
There's nothing to lose. knowing the fact that people around will not judge you and ostracize you no matter how crazy you get.
Unlike in society, where self-discipline is a must to keep your image among your peers.
No such thing as losing yourself to have fun. Its just a barrier known as pride keeping thing in and going out.
Personally, i feel that it's okay to go back to being a kid, the stage where we're at our best and when we have the most fun, no matter how old you become.
"and He said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
So just be that pride-less little children who knows to have fun and to have no worries, for you can trust and rely on Him and He will, always be there.
~a reminder to myself, a reminder to all~ :D
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:51 PM
Haha. It's nice to let loose and have fun once in a while.
With that group of people who has known you as the stupid lil' kid, tearing out of that pit and just losing all sense of wisdom, becoming back to a kid.
-Losing wisdom to become clever.-
There's nothing to lose. knowing the fact that people around will not judge you and ostracize you no matter how crazy you get.
Unlike in society, where self-discipline is a must to keep your image among your peers.
No such thing as losing yourself to have fun. Its just a barrier known as pride keeping thing in and going out.
Personally, i feel that it's okay to go back to being a kid, the stage where we're at our best and when we have the most fun, no matter how old you become.
"and He said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
So just be that pride-less little children who knows to have fun and to have no worries.
~a reminder to myself, a reminder to all~ :D
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:51 PM
23 August 2011
Waa. so full. ate curry, drank soup, got some juice and quenched my thirst with water.
For more details about food, go find the mustafa explorer~
@ http://gustatoryexplorer.blogspot.com/ ! just doing a favor eh?~
life's been.. busy..
weather has been.. bad.. real bad..
the period of the year where tissue boxes are a necessity has awaken again.
but oh wells. He'll take care of it~ :D Thanks!
And well i started.. taking singing to a higher level. a nice spiritual level~
Trying to save money.. for deh time is coming.
and thats kinda about it. SLEEPPY~ I WANT SLEEP~
okay bye.
TO INFINITY AND BEYOND~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 7:50 PM
13 August 2011
I'm tired.
Tired of trying to enjoy things that aren't.. anymore apparently.
It was so easy. Just being insensitive, and just being a fool.
Only to be taken care of. Not requiring to stand loud noises ringing through.
Something's changed. I changed, for the better i suppose.
But there were other changes too.. changes that made things so tiring..
Castles that were built... they seem so unreachable now.
The experience of stepping in one isn't the same anymore.
It's just.... tiring..
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:15 PM
10 August 2011
Everyone has been a stupid little brat which has done many stupid pranks and mistakes.
We get reprimanded and we learn, to not do the silly stuff and get scolded for the same thing over again.
When you see someone else having a good laugh doing some pranks which you have done before, you laugh with them.
But when that person stepped over the line, just like what you have done in the past and know that the outcome will be bad, what do you do?
I did not have the courage to reprimand them.
I played along.. Until pride took the better of me....
"If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also." Luke6:29
They wanted to make fun of me, i should have just let them laugh at me, and should have even made myself more disgraceful to let them laugh more.
But No. I let pride take the better of me and gave them the cold shoulder.
Maybe because i am envious of them, not getting scolded for doing the same thing which i got scolded for.
Lord, sorry. Hear my prayer, forgive me.
And Thank You Lord, for taking care of everything and letting the outcome be fine.
Thank You.
The more things i can see, the harder it is to escape to my castle in the air.
Maybe it's time to land my foot upon solid ground and bid farewell to what has been there, for it will soon be just a relic of the past.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:46 PM
17 July 2011
回忆童年. The warmth i get when i'm reminded of my childhood. I even almost forget that i actually had such a wonderful childhood. Even when my parents are working their asses off and i was lonely most of the time.
There were times where my father took off an hour to spent 50 cents each for us to go to the arcade at fourth floor of the mall to play a game. A bomberman game.
I just found the game. Neo Bomberman. Played it and finished the game with my father commenting on ol' times. In the past it was just my father fighting every monster and me just staying alive.
Thank you. Dad.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 3:32 AM
10 July 2011
Has been quite some time since i wrote about happenings rather than thoughts...
Today was a pretty fun day full of experiences. I learnt that God has really been taking care of my sleep and giving me discipline to wake myself up. Thank you. Music charged up my morning while heading to church at a really early time. Even though i only had 2 hours of sleep. The worship team Bryan has is really awesome. personally i like singing with kunfeng and together with the harmony of the pianist yihui, the structure from the drums mingen, the background chords from guitarist yiyiong and the supportive bassist xiusha. Thank you, for giving me leading me into such a wonderful worship.
I've never had much experience working in teams since i used to work alone so much. Requiring to work with people lead to many conflicts. but then again. with our Great Father mediator, misunderstandings are solved easily.
The lunch was the same, yet somehow. it felt a lot more interesting than the usuals. I wonder why.
and there was this. which kinda stroke me hard.
well. it was really fun, once again being able to see true personalities giving off a dazzling glow which was rid of all burdens. Lord, Thank you for the time. ************************************ sorry for this posts being so separated. oh wells. needa catchUp on sleep. nighties., and thanks, readers.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 9:49 PM
09 July 2011
On my journey upon learning more about myself, i learnt today that- I don't like to give answers.
This habit has been there since. i don't know. When someone asks me something, i usually just give a ambiguous answer. maybe due to lack of confidence in giving an exactly correct answer due to my perfectionism, or maybe it's because i'm just being a jerk. By jerk i mean then somehow i look down on people. (both figuratively and literally) I make sure than when i give an answer, it is shown that they deserve the answer.
***** It's ironic i'm writing this post. but i feel that i should do this.*****
And apparently, when i am obligated(note that i'm using 'obligated' in a very scientific form) to give answers. the answers given are not exactly exact. You can somehow extract the answer from the statement. Somehow i like giving ambiguous answers, and the sadistic side of me really finds joy when someone's able understand me;what i'm saying.
Is this good or bad? I think my past somehow injected me with this. Sorry, if i somehow hurt you with this.
and we go, into the ambiguous.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:03 PM
07 July 2011
Crap, i seriously am missing the old place now. Dreams which were created. Life being lived out. Personalities maturing. The relief accumulated contents.
The home that I'll definitely never forget. The scent of the place. All the crappy memories which still puts a smile on my face. All that's endured and stood victorious from.
Big hall. Red carpet.
Cold floor. Lonely piano.
Wooden walls. Light Covers.
Boring classes. Simple posters.
I'm really late in posting this eh? But i feel much better after reminiscing the past. Thank You Father. For such a wonderful home.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 1:05 AM
19 June 2011
The long awaited Sunday~. Bye Singapore.
Why am i brooding on the end when it hasn't even begun. weird me.
Bye~ TO Infinity And BEyond!~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 8:41 AM
16 June 2011
First times. Scary, yet so much learnt from.
Had a BBQ party for my choir at my place. Planning was tough, but well. Luckily i had experience... kinda~ Thank God.
At some point of time i had stuff that intrigued me. Seeing how i used to be and understanding how people looked at me and how i looked i people. Being burdened with something that i threw upon myself. Speechlessness and needing to act otherwise.
Sacrificing a Relic of my past to make up for wrong-doings. I might be called a sentimental person, or maybe just afraid, un-confident. Needing something to assure me of my existence.
Let's Just Leave everything in His hands.
Come, let's soar with the clouds, and move, move on.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 1:25 AM
05 June 2011
The opinion of not wanting to think still holds true for me. I complain a lot about how tiring when things are too busy. Yet when things are easy going you get too much time. which the ever-going mind will shift its focus to thinking. thats pretty much where things get complicated.
I don't like looking back at objects in the distant past. It seems so reachable, as if stretching out a hand would grasp it. Reality is such a cruel thing. Once you've tasted something pleasant, eventually you will yearn for it again. The when the 'eventually' comes, you might have just forgotten what you are actually yearning for, leaving you with a missing gap to fill, one that allows coldness to spread through. However you adapt to the gap or coldness leads to different and different personalities. While other which are unable to, just loses the ability to provide warmth, turning into a black hole which just sucks surrounding happiness away.
Yet, the absence just makes the heart fonder, creating the endless cycle of tearing down inside the moment you taste and forget. I don't want to forget, yet at this point, i don't want to remember, since it only brings sorrow when you know how impossible distant it is.
Why can't i just have the courage i'm supposed to wake up and simply make it all mine being carefree? Where did all my carefree-ness which i once boasted so proudly of went? Getting inspired is nothing, when you can't express it out up front... maybe that's the reason why art was created...
Let's just leave everything to Him and have faith that he has a plan to use such a creation of his.
And thus, we continue on this pathway and go...
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:38 AM
19 May 2011
Haha, i went blog-hopping just now and saw this awesome sweet lil' post. And it kinda got me thinking. The past, the present, the future. How fun the past was, as how it was stated by him. all those nonsense. haha pomegranate. How to make use of the present even though all the bullsh*t (no offence :D) we used to do is quite impossible to do so now. And how it will feel to be leaving too. the nostalgia blended together.
haha. thanks for using the awesome beautiful girl's pic! The post:http://ambidextroused.wordpress.com/2011/01/08/it-is-moments-like-this/ haha sry for any copyright issues. xD
like they say, the past is a dream, the future is a mystery, the present is a gift. And therefore, i shall go sleep. Nights world!
Thanks. :) ~written~ 1:00 AM
21 April 2011
Like how I've always ranted: i don't wanna grow up. Gaining knowledge and getting cleverer is just stupid. why can't things just be simple? In a sense, i might be really good to live a country life. Why embed nonsense stuff into our ever so tiny brain? Why getting ourselves into so much vines and thorns?
I actually don't mind being back to a stupid naive kid i was. Rolling back the tape to the blurry serenity. Being loved by inexperienced and busy parents. Snuggling under that ol' bed of mine. Waking up the earliest to enjoy the cold room and enjoying the rare presence on my parents. Dreading them waking, only to attend school, or maybe just another excuse for the same reason. Being in a class where everyone was just a kid. No experience, just plain stupid. Growing slower than others. Being left behind. Suffering the isolation. Craving for recognition.
Now? Departed from that level having glimpsed the cruel world. Desperate to find time alone with myself. Caught up and decently in the middle of the crowd. Encountering tons of problems and troubles.
How nostalgic.
Rest well Griffin, for the day i seek you is the day we shall go through thick and thin. Rest well.
And we shall soar.. into the starry sky.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:59 AM
21 March 2011
Time spent. was wonderful. and i think that is how life is meant to be. :D
Yesterday, everything was smooooth, even before the day started, literally. It was a day to look forward to which, unsurprisingly, made everything cool. The morning was sweaty, and somewhat guilty. But from the very one moment, the one moment when the hole was filled, Dawn came. Everything after that felt like power was enabled to be drawn. The unity, just being One Voice(in love and harmony...).
And thus, I ended yesterday with a smile, leaving everything with Him, and confidently going to sleep. Being brought awake, the mundane journey continued. A thought of the near past engraved a smile while on this quest. And the day continued.
Forever we shall be, Aspiring to worship in the near future, In unity, as a band. I thank God, whom i believe, has made our day. In every area and every minute. *************************************
Getting your PW question and seeing that they were topics that i have continuously pondered on about relieved me. But finding out the immediate weight of the effort i need to use on it is.... irritating. Oh wells, who cares? i'll get over it.
Lessons were unexpectedly fast. The good, filling 8 hours rest works, together with a little caffeine magic.
And i really am sorry to be unable to wish luck due to being air-headed. Well, can i assume grace is given? xD.
**************************************
Choir Practice was kinda irritating for when you know what you are singing is against your believes. But i was told that i should just sing it for the sake of it being an art. Thoughts poured in. People are not using art for what it is for, to glorify the Creator. Nevertheless, just sing lor. SYF mah. Sing finish liao then throw it straight to the bin, and watch it perfectly swirl in. But the thing is that i can't direct my thought to create a feeling to sing the song as it's meant to be. -Roars- annoying. One more thing during practice is that i finally found an answer to my thousand year unexplained phenomenon. Which is why no matter how painful heartaches are, i still love having it. Hah, i am no sadist. even though i thought i was. xD But not now, that i know why. Unfortunately, i'm not sharing it. XP.
Practice ended on a bright note, Lightning bright. Walking out of the room feeling totally calm to find thunders roaring and pets pouring, i just stuffed my ears with music to protect my drums from the crackling and walked through the coldness. Well, let's look on the bright side, My shoes are cleaned!! HURRAYS. :D . it was dirtied on saturrday by some muddy field and irritating soap. This felt like a shower of blessing rather than a storm. no not just because of that and don't ask what else, cuz i don't know, it just felt like it. *****************************************
Okay and thats kinda about it. Blogging.. checked. items left.. one game, pieces and pieces of work,etc. -and i just walk off-
Thanks. :) ~written~ 9:09 PM
27 February 2011
Taking risks. An essential part of life.
An normal move that you made might change the whole outcome. Save yourself and take the risk that everyone, including yourself, might die? Or Sacrifice yourself and supposedly save the others?
The best scenario is to take the first and everybody lives. To the contrary, taking the latter and regretting it, for it was in vain.
By calculating chances, both choices you make have a great chance of you being destroyed. So why not take the first and take a chance that everyone continues? But, if you look at this from a particular perspective, it might seem that you are being selfish by risking everyone just to rescue yourself.
Mixed thoughts.
What would you do?
Thanks. :) ~written~ 4:19 PM
20 February 2011
The monster within.
Feeling the presence of it when it digs a way through.
Tired of suppressing it, using almost all of your energy to.
Sometimes, wishing that i would just sink, and melt into liquid as though i've got some superpowers.
I'm back to square one, I don't wanna think. It's too troublesome.
Resting in my room in darkness and silence. This might be one of the best feeling i would find in life till now. The fear of it ending when noisy people just messes with my train of thoughts and disturbs whatever serenity i can find, tearing it into emptiness. Frustration.
In no time at all, Hearts will hold.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 9:12 PM
06 February 2011
End of the first long weekend of 2011. The oiliest and a very awesome break! :D
The CNY was great. collected lotsa ang poas from here and there and played many many games, of BanLuck and DaiDee. but that, is only the tip of the awesomeness iceburg.
Having felt God's healing powers and grace in recovering from illness in one night, was really amazing. Having Eight/Nine people squeeze cosily in a small room playing cards and dirtying the atmosphere and floor with oil, burps, UNNECESSARY noise, and laughter was unforgettable. Having watched an awesome film of art, was touchingly scary. Having strolled home melting into a luscious McFlurry was the best enjoyment to end the weekend with.
Another great thing is the fact that my schools starts on 830 everry MonDAYEEE! heehee. :D yeah awsome stuff. xD the loads of bak kua in my system is too.
And yeah. Thanks! :) Byeyos.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:34 PM
17 January 2011
Smack 3.57 in the middle of deh night. I'm awake. Why?.. hmm not sure. maybe due to the fact i slept at dusk yesterday. And. hmm yesterday.. was quite a boring day.\, considering that i spent the last six hours and first 8 hours sleeping. Yesterday's worship was good. Thanks, Worship team. Yesterday's sermon was good. Thanks, ZNDS Yesterday whatever time spent with peeps was good. Thanks, Yihui,Weien,Eugene and a couple more. Yesterday's gaming session with Guanliang was good. God was good and still is. He created us. He loves us. **Sidetrack for a moment** I've been thinking about what my father said on 7 Dec 2010. "there isn't a need to celebrate my birthday, because everyday is a birthday to me."(FYI, his birthday's on 7 Dec) Well, that's a great way of living. I want to live like that. Or maybe i am already. But then again that will cease to make the day of our births special. The day he created us. To be able to laugh, cry, feel pain. Lord. Thank you. So birthdays is another day we celebrate His grace. To once again thank him for bringing us through another year of living. People around will celebrate, too, for receiving the joy of having a brother/sister in Christ. This, in my opinion as i am now, is my perspective of birthdays. ******************************************* 'O' levels. finally over and cutting all, or most, strings attached. I think the worst part of this odyssey is actually entering the choices for tertiary education. Compared to just mugging and spending lotsa time behind a desk and reading about Venice, integrating stuff, attending exams and helping each other with their homework, it's nothing, NOTHING, compared to having disappointment directed directly upon you. Especially in a time in desperate need of encouragement. This is the worst experience of living till now. I tried sinking myself into ways to stop thinking, only to be nagged by the same people who made me do it.
Now when i look at this situation. Why doesn't it feel the same as how our heavenly Father look at us with disappointment? Maybe because he is graceful and doesn't stress us? Or maybe we are taking him for granted? The first fact is an excuse for the latter, i would say. Nevertheless, that's how a great God he is. Even though we disappointed him by wandering deep into the abyss of sin, he still shed his blood to bring us out, even though we still wander in with help from temptation, he would still lead us out. Lord, Thank you.
Some time ago, a battle to be fought on the next morning is going to be hard. Dusk came, we're yet ready. Miraculously, that night, help came, from above. He gave us rest from all sense of worry. At dawn, He lead us, to victory. Other endeavours are bound to come. The story will still be the same. Lord, Thank you. ************************************** I used to dream, like an idiot. I'm going to lose this ability, like an idiot.
(pardon me.) And so, we go...
Thanks. :) ~written~ 3:58 AM
07 December 2010
OMGZ!!!!! i cant sleep.
this symptom.. having a huge swell of nostalgia and resulting in insomnia has been striking me quite a few times in this period.. so i just kinda play games to kill time and find thing to do and find stuff to eat.. nomnomnom. unhealthy but. well. sinking in the pleasure of food is kinda the best thing for me i guess.. in situations like this.
i went through the archives of blogs i find.. and i this thought came into my mind. can't i stay young and being a carefree child, must i grow up and enter the confusing and troublesome world? people say that i grow too fast. i like to remind and point out people of their own childishness. could be partly because i am jealous. but yeah. whatever. It suddenly feels unsafe. my comfort circle is being threatened with increasing knowledge. i don't wanna think. i don't wanna learn. and people think im weird with the excuse of them being troublesome. too bad. im lazy.
So many traps, so many pits out there. i am careless and i find many of them. stood up and continued walking. but the damage and scars i acquired, were they worth it? i try to be as carefree as possible. but some things were just too great to be avoided. i let it go, but it stills comes back to haunt me.
i think im a coward. even when my name stands for courage.
oh wells. im stopping. if you've preservered and read till here. i thank you. but not to worry i have my troubles under control. since He IS there for me..
sighs. 5.29 am 7 December 2010. sign off. the awesomething me.
~~~ what should i do nowww??? ~~~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:07 AM
10 November 2010
Right. im so bored that i felt like posting.. even though i should. xD
So. O levels are considered over to me two days ago, monday. Although officially i still have a paper on friday. but the contents im expecting is already saturated inside. and my expectations are high. well. it is after all an MCQ science paper! XP
so im bored. waiting for weekends to come and rotting at home for the time being. kinda lost motivation to do anythingg. computer games are not fun when played alone. and sleeping at the right time seems hard too. i just ton-ed this moring/yester-night since i had an evening nap yesterday. food doesnt seems as appealing as before and during the exams... -sighs-
and it kinda looks like lotsa things are going to end after this year eh? no more nostalgic old church. no more sleeping in peirce sec. and well. some other things.
when things end, other stuffs start and to me, they all more or less looks like troubles. finding jcs/polys to go to, starting life there.. and many obstacles... and laughter to go through too. :D
---------------------------------- is giving up on things okay? ----------------------------------
and well... whatever! XD so erm. 1 month of slack, here i come! lets go.'CHARGE!!!!!!!'... -trips and falls, face on the ground- -left hand raises and waves farewell-...
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:41 PM
08 October 2010
hmm.. right. 10+ more days to Os and i'm still clickin and typin in front of the computer, giving excuses such as working too hard in school that day and weekends are rest-time to have fun on.
but recently, especially today, the stress i wanted is finally coming in. Thanks, God. hmm so lets see. 3 days more lesson and a day where we graduate from attending classes in school. after that, 11 full days of rotting at home. study partner(s), anyone? kicking off with a dreaded science practical and following behind the parade from Cambridge, English. and so on until the only day where i have two papers , SS and F&N(written). and as usual, ending it off we have the slightly less stressful MCQs!!!
and i shouldn't think so far into the future now, 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34
and thats about it for this post. best of luck to me! byeeyos.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:17 PM
25 July 2010
beautiful weekend.
yesterday was fun, other than waking up early in the morning... Well, if you dint know, i went to a missionary stimulation trip at a church in the land of far far away in a bus hired by church. Talked alot with guan liang about LeagueOfLegends, a game, which is a typical thing for us to do though... We got into a comfort zone and left it, learned languages: lidiboorulbagi, cultures: salam alekom, went through troublesome stages: gettin passports, got blindfolded and irritated people, and my specs broke after dropping on the floor while removing the blinds, disturbing act-fierce custom people and had fun, learned more language and debriefed the trip. 5 hours has gone by. Wow? Somehow, i felt the hardship of being a missionary, so in conclusion, pray for them.. Took bus trip back church, had 4 muffins, which was considered alot. And since everyone was muffin filled, we took quite some time to decide how we shalt continue our journey. In the end, went to jubilee subway. I dint eat. But theres this takoyaki outlet outside. So YAYYYY. And that was my dinner, together with a cup of bubble tea which somehow was also shared my me and my shirt and bag, last but not least, fascinating by a strand of long hair.. Went home and ate chilli crab for post dinner. Lol
Today, i somehow woke up early and reached church early. Without glasses. Managed to survive sunday school, which was kinda boring... Where did the fun of sunday school go.. Zzzz learnt the palm sunday thing where Jesus triumphant entry of jerusalem occured. Sermon: telling people the gosple is our duty, making them believe is God's. W should know more about God in order to tell people about him and his sacrifice. Ate at amk market with super nice gummies as dessert. AWESOMEEE. Thx chunxing. Went weien's house to study using her chem books. Thx weien. did amath question using nigel amath worksheet and felt great sense of achievements. Thx nigel BROws. And getting my chem revised. Thx yihui~. Ate dinner, starting raining and went home. I took a detour to return yihui's book at amk library. From there to the bus stop, i needed to cross the overhead bridge. On the few steps up, flash and boom. A lighting was just meters away. I feared and prayed. Kinda like peter walking on water eh? Saw danger and feared; lost faith. Why are we afraid of death? Went home, had a lil trouble since no specs;cannot see bus plate. Got home and father insisted me to eat dinner my mom took from my grandma. Somehow swallowed it. I started my quiet time. Opened OBD and saw 'fix your eyes'. Hm right. God really had a sense of humour. Then ODJ. 'dying wish' i was like eh serious anot? (referring to the lighnting incident) that reminds me nitrogen oxide, an air pollutant that irritates and damaged lungs, is formed naturally in lightning. XD.
Ok i guess this's the end of my update. Baabyes. tsubu no minah?
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:25 PM
12 July 2010
juz here to tell you readers that its not dead here yet. and i am still reading my tagboard. but.. ya. twitter and facebook are taking away my post.. so me shalt posted agains whent me gote inspirationzxc to bloggy~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 6:43 PM
26 May 2010
hmm. how should i start?? ironically i did but. well. ya.
today was the dreaded day of losing a way of spending time. the computer. this was due to a L1R5 of 22 for my prelims 1.
so here i am, typing away at the last moment. -the last words of this computer-
my result slip was of colorful grades. i had one of every grade from A1-D7. unfortunately, the D7 was my only humanity subject, meaning that the C6 subject was the grade which would be not going into my L1R5.
i spent 1 hr today listening to my parents nag more or less right after they came home. Since they are upset due to the current hopes quite high on me. L1R5 of 8 for my o levels and 15 now since i bargained quite a bit. Well, the high expectations can be considered my fault too. since i keep raising their expectations of me.... to keep them satisfied one way or another.
So this is my way of optimistic view on my results now. Since i didnt really study much for my exams and got 22 for my L1R5, this simply means that this would be my worst results. So i actually can reach higher without being afraid to fall much. U C U C?? so ya. well maybe another way of calling this would be the excuse for my laziness. so. ya.
well. so bye com and hi books. lalalala lalalala lalalala EEEEE~ byee
Thanks. :) ~written~ 6:36 PM
21 March 2010
relationships.
A Keel of a ship is the important which the ship would fall apart if it is damaged, it cannot be repaired. The only way is to recreate it but the ship will never be the same as the original. And yet, the keel hides deep in the ship therefore, not many people actually know about it. So, do not damage the keel.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:24 AM
11 February 2010
ok. its like 2 days away from valentines cum new year eve.. gosh.. ppl gathered at the reunion dinner will like ask us (teens) abt having a girlfriend/boyfriend. typical.
oh wells. at least i get some ang paos aka. money.
n.. hmm bye. xDDDD
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:04 PM
16 January 2010
today was... indescribable...... (uncontainable. who place the stars.. xD) and tiring. im being contradictive xD... oh wells.
first cell group outing of 2010 wif the new OBEDIENT wif all tq guys. came to my house to play.. billet, soccer, tennis, basketball and working out at gym*
billet- play the many many colour de balls.. and saw proness of wzds wif a cue.
soccer- 2 simple matches and me being goalie most of the times. caught a few balls >.>
tennis- im lousy.. but got learned something lor.
basketball- the 6 hours on the court is death lah. like some1 already toe cramping liaos <.<
gym- well i only did a few dumbbells lifts. yiyong n yongjing did more though.
The second school week officially over.. a bit rusty but.. should go off if i polish it a bit.
today first chior practice. got new members and hmm.. ya. bad day. waited for bus 1 HOUR! freggin bjdaskcgdbavkjgbsjdbhc bus.
boom boom boom. bye.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 7:40 PM
04 January 2010
ok. My last post is.. Hmm.. Haha. Im getting weirder.
School starts. My goals- to try to get eightt cca points and be more hardworking. esp. academically.. First day of school is all talks... Like literally.. Goshh.
****************************
Is being contradictive/ contradicting things wrong? Like life is so ironic already, eg. Being strong and needy Humble and greedy God made us as beautiful mess(es) [i know jason mraz dint mean it like that..]
People say cannot gamble. yet in life, everybody does. Like even in minor stuff and subconsciously... Life is full of gambles. Unless you want the neutral boring path..
Eugene playing drop games in maple, playing cards, monopoly. All are gambles.. (if you are reading this and is a child and not mature enough, what i refer to is not money-gamble. So do not try this at home.. XD)..
Oh wells. I guess this would be how i end of bahh... Baabayeeeeeeeeee
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:22 PM
03 January 2010
new year. - pros and cons.
living through another year of suffering, fear and stress living through another year of fun, excitement and hope
to have new goals, yet not being able to do much to chase upon past goals, still stuck to the past.
innocence/ignorance is bliss eh?.
new environment new tasks new missions
as i look upon the empty sky. maybe its time to say goodbye.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:36 PM
07 December 2009
1 more hour and its over. okay so here are ppl i want to thank. (they are according to the time they wished me and im only going till seven.) 1st: Yong Jing (sms) 2nd: Kai Xin (facebook) 3rd: Yihui (facebook chat) 4th: Auntie Yihui (msn) 5th: Louis (facebook) 6th: Weien (sms) 7th: Chai Jing (facebook) and thx to those that also wished me. sry for not listin down the rest of names but.. well since i only wanna go till 7.
so ya thx. byez
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:00 PM
01 December 2009
okayess. my PC is back.. but not the old 1. i got this from my uncle and is quite slow and has nothing in it... have to install many stuffs. haizz,
Music cafe this saturday. practices and stuff. good luck!
and thats abt it. byez
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:28 PM
27 November 2009
okay. i'm gonna post something~
house has moved and body has adapted to new place. the computer i used has totally spoiled and.. haiz. no more PC.
and i guess that almost abt it. ppl came to housewarming party on 23rd november 09z. many stuff happened and... ahlala
thats all.. and i wanna play poker. not FB poker.
byeyoz,
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:52 PM
17 November 2009
The time is here~ for my house to move~ *imagine my house growing legs and......* haha
this sat, my route home would be different. i still miss my ooOLDd house. haiz... oh well.
2 dayes of no-internet access. thurs and fri.
alalalaala. and thats about it.
ByeZ,
Thanks. :) ~written~ 6:13 PM
09 November 2009
first question: why am i here.
Ans: Becuz i think that its time to post something! *************************************************
school's been fine... and boring. other than the fact that i did a O level math paper 1 today and found it challenging... and good.
3 more school days to the holidays. but then again, things might not be as good.
numb, bored and tired.... ah well.. ***************************************************
short post im back to audition I WANNA EAT SUBWAY COOKIES.
... B.y.e.Z ~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:25 PM
30 October 2009
okayeee i'm back from the Sec 3 camp which i went on wednesday at somewhere near the pasir ris park. good for me- no high elements activities involved.
there was like dragonboat, amazing race(which i am bored of), the mystery hunter thing.. and of course, campfire... without the fire. cuz school budget. well, the campsite does not have anyplace for a campfire anyway.
well, in summary, it was kinda fun. juz that there are some food problemss.... ya. u shld know.
OH oh. i also got my results le.. and here it is: ******************************************************* Name................ : LEON YAO JINCHI Age on 1st Jan... : 14 S/N .................. : 27 Identification No. : S9******* (xD) Class ................. : S3-E2 Stream ............. : EXPRESS Form Teacher ... : MISS TAN BEE JUAT Co-Form Teacher : MISS MAJIDAH BTE MAHMOOD ________________________________________________________ Subject ...................... Overall ________________________________________________________ ENGLISH LANGUAGE ------------- 61 B4 CHINESE ----------------------------- 53 C6 ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS -- 77 A1 MATHEMATICS --------------------- 86 A1 SCIENCE(CHEM,BIO) -------------- 76 A1 COMBINED HUMANITIES(S,G)-- 62 B4 FOOD & NUTRITION -------------- 61 B4 CIVICS & MORAL EDUCATION------- B ________________________________________________________ Total ................ :423/600 Percentage ........ :70.5 Class Position ..... :5/39 L1R4 Aggregate . :11 L1R5 Aggregate . :15 Results ............. :Passed Promotion status :Promoted to S4 EXPRESS Conduct ........... :VERY GOOD Attendance ...... :186/188
Comments : Leon is a pleasant and amiable boy who appears uninterested and nonchalant at times. Possessing a quick and analytical mind and methodical approach to studies, Leon displays an aptitude and great interest in Science and Mathematics; and has done well in them. Keep up the good work. As a member of the class committee, Leon could have been more forthcoming and responsible; and taken more initiative in assisting the class and teachers. ********************************************************
ok maybe to clarify some things, all things that i posted above is exactly how it is in the report book other than the headings, statistics for the grades and the bottom.
this result is kinda funny cuz of the uninterested and nonchalant part.. which is kinda true. xD and thats all abt it.
BYEz
Thanks. :) ~written~ 1:29 PM
20 October 2009
Ohh. this is my 71 post already... hmm oh well
Gettin my EOYs result tmr and well.. actually kinda look forward to it. i find gettin results interesting no matter how bad or would good it is.
Try ur best and prepare for the worst.. eh? haha. i wonder if i actually tried my best. xD
and this is it. postin my results when i get them all back!
ByEz
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:00 AM
13 October 2009
Am i happy, now that exams have officially ended? maybe yes, maybe no. but being me, i'm gonna say:'i don't know'
now i got a whole lot of free time, before the holidays. before the O levels end. And in this free time, i don't feel like doing anything. but seeing reality, i have to do something. I need to find something which i enjoy to do. yet, nothing is there. nope. computer games are out. don't bother thinking about them.
OH WELL. wads with this emo stuff. lets talk about nice stuff. such as my first visit to my new home, in yishun.
well. as expected, its empty and without electricity for the moment. but its very spacious. but the thing that intrigued me the most was that the facilities there are _____. well, i can't find a word to describe the goodness. xD.... i can't really believe that THAT, is gonna be my new home.
Buses going there are like 811, 851, 852, 853, 855...
lalala.. and this does it. BYeZ.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 2:09 PM
12 October 2009
A-math: additional mathematics. Addition: + lor Mathematics: numbers. therefore, 1+2? 3 lah! aiyoo a-math so easy.
this is one thing i hope i get to say next year. or else... haizzz
okay. tomorrow is the last paper which is e-math paper and there is no need to study.. (in fact, i dint study much at all xD) and the EOY holidays are finally coming.. but there is still curriculum. zz. oh well. EOY holidays. something that has alot to do with craziness, friendship and lotsa fun. hope this year's would be. too.
Now is to wait.. until November, when the 'O' levels end. HEY PEOPLE TAKING Os, JYJYS. all the way~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay now is time for my hobbies to activate! PAPER ORIGAMIIIEEEEEEEEE
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:27 PM
10 September 2009
Okayee. lets see. i have not posted for so many daysss because.... I dun have internet access!!!
haha sounds like such a lame excuse. but it is wad. i also dun usually post this often.
ok lets see. i have no internet access because i'm moving house. and the connection is temporary severed. until today.
move hose to where? hmm, i now stayin at a temporary place because the new place is not yet available. the temporary place is simply 1 blk away from my old house.(IMAGINE~)
and thus, no more cookies~~ xD
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:59 AM
28 August 2009
I have always been saying people as an idiot. that includes myself. yes. i am indeed an idiot.
but then, if everyone was an idiot, that simply makes everyone normal. so... we are all idiots.
Pslam 23. Lord thank you.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 10:27 PM
27 August 2009
Today, i realized something about myself I am so not just lazy. physically and mentally, i'm even lazy sub-consciously too. haizz.
i was told to make a decision today. to choose to be a BSL(Baritone SL) or not.(well, i was under probation)
the teacher in charge asked me: 'are you comfortable being the BSL?' i replied: 'ya.' She: 'so do you want to be the BSL?' Me: 'okay lor.' She: 'dun say okay la. say yes or no can?' Me: '............(15 sec later)....err' She: 'Why are you taking so long to answer? do u think you can lead the baritone? or do u think daniel can do better?' (btw, daniel is the other candidate for BSL) Me: '.....' She: 'nvm i call daniel, DANIEL!!!' Daniel: 'yes?' She: 'do you want to be the BSL?' Daniel: 'i'm okay with it' She: 'why Are you giving the same answer as Leon? -sigh-' 'okay leon, do you want to be the BSL?' Me: 'er.....' She: 'its just yes or no, why do you have to hesitate?' Me: 'yes and no,two choices alot leh!' she: 'like that ur test paper MCQ 4 choices the u will take even longer izit?' 'okay so who is the BSL? ME and daniel. -stares- She: 'its who can lead the baritone better?' 'fine then daniel, you be ther BSL'
a simple yes and no question. i have no idea how to answer. this had me thinking for the next one hour.
this question its like me standing in the middle. on one side is yes, the other side no. both of them are of equal distance away. i'm indecisive. both sides have equal pros and cons so what do i do? sub-consciously, i wait for a push. so the nearer side i'm on, i will just move there. as its of a shorter distance.. and i'm lazy.
in tests, MCQ is different. as the four options are NOT choices. there are there for you to choose the right one. thats how i score in MCQ similarly, when there are yes and no which are right and wrong, i would just choose the right one. although there are times that we are wrong.
as for the BSL post, i dun mind losing it. its just an excuse for me to go for cca practise. so now i lost it, sub-consciously, i am going to find another excuse. i think.
ahh.. i'm just so lazy . oh well. anyone got any tips which can help me in this area? dun freggin tell me to try not to be lazy or smt along that line. and ya. ~read below~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:18 PM
18 August 2009
okayy.. this is going to be the first non-language test i am going to fail.. chem test. combined some more....die..i open the paper first question also dunno how do... then like 95% questions dunno how do. ahhahhh~. lalalas.. die.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:05 PM
14 August 2009
How long has it been since i sat there. alone. The last times was at sec1. in between the Yachad camp and be4 i went to TQ. i could only watch the ants crawling around there. waiting... not knowing what to do next. all alone.
but today, i don't feel lonely. in fact, i feel that there will be someone. i waited there. for the moment to come, tomorrow.
i was at the church's bus stop.
i wish that all of us could remain a family. always.
my father says that:'a skill learnt can never be forgotten' to me, its true. with one exception. i have forgotten how to cry; to tear and empty my heart. maybe that's not a skill. nevertheless, when i feel pain, physically, mentally. i cannot cry. maybe its because of my pride, me growing up. i don't know.
God has his plans. whatever happens to us, it happens for a reason. he works in way we cannot see. believing this in everything i do. i am blessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 9:40 PM
26 July 2009
looks like i did something wrong eh?
one thing i learned. know priorities and let them be one's priorities.
too bad this time.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 8:22 PM
23 July 2009
ahh cant sleepp.
2 reasons.
1st reason: i am not sleepy. i have been taking afternoon naps and everything... my sleeping hours are disrupted... gosh.
2nd reson: i currently fear going to bed. because usually when i wake up, i nidda go to sch. i fear going to school late as it is one of the most troublesome things i face. so its like i wake up,, i see the face in front of me.. dark=safe, bright=die... thats my first reaction...
i also dun like going to bed as if i'm not sleepy, i tend to think. if i think, i worry, and yadayada.... thats where a;; the stress and depression comes in.
oh well.... i shld get used soon... and i want my interact wif computer time after 9.... 9 is a freggin time too early.. zzz
and how come everyone is getting sick recently... diao diaoz
today's clouds are indecisive and contradict-tive.
haizz. still cant sleep.... wad shld i do now??
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:15 PM
11 July 2009
TODAY ROCKED!!!!
haha. went to ECP as grp outing for obedience~~~
n well i sorta learned how to ride a bike.(as mentioned in one of my previous posts) so i biked for abt 2 hrs~~ new record!!
first we went.. right(when facing the sea) and after the reached the end, we u-turn. halfway, it rained.. then i liked sense this urgency somewhere as my instincts were telling me. ya. then we reached where we started. i was so wet. 10 min later, the rain stopped(lucky~) and we continue in the opposite direction. while cycling, there was this rainbow on the sea. it was so big n so beautiful lah!!!! then we cycle n cycle lor.
when the renting time is almost up, we headed back to the bike shop(the place where we started).as there was many people, i lost sight of the rest. then i cycle n my leg cramp... n becuz of the cramp, i realized i overshot the shop. so. i went back lor.
God really does things planned
on the way to the bus stop, i was telling yiyong that i got stitches(in my stomach area) and he heard teachers. n it became our tongue twister. stitches teachers stitches. n then yiyong hear citrus.... so ya. it became harder. stitches teachers citrus stitches teachers citrus stitches teachers citrus......
after that at the bus trip back to AMK, we were deciding on where to eat. so its sushi or pizza.. in the end, pizza won. because of weishi n moyi. the two of them psycho the rest to eat pizaa n tada. there goes me n yiyong's sushi.....
then for some reason, we were boo-ing at smt weishi did. then she said: ' u think u guys ors-chrest-tra(orchestra) arh? n that, for some reson, became her nickname. ors chrestra. so we started calling her chrestra
so we went pizza hut. eat n went to weien's house(the rest went home) to c yuzi shoot deers 'bang'. n play cards. weishi came home n was suprised i was there. xD. n we went home.
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalas
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:02 PM
About Me
Leon Yao Jinchi
7 Dec 1994
AMKCMC
FOC
FWB
Peirce Sec Sch Yishun Junior College
3e3 4e2 CTG 111201
Still Choir (Stepped down)