Renacted memories that seems so real
On that lonesome chair, what I've been longing for slapped sand in. Acid fills up. Raindrops fall.
What is real feels like my delusion.
Maybe it's just all inside my head.
Maybe it didn't happen at all.
Maybe I turned mental amd started living in this world that just.... had.. so much joy. So much blessings..
Are they real?
Just a look back into that deep dark abyss. Just a figment of thoughts.
Will I die if I enter it..?
Will I have to go back..?
Insomnia.
Sleep.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 8:01 AM
16 June 2013
Once again, I'm wide awake in the middle of the night... The night is still wonderful to me. Quiet.... Cool... and best of all. There isn't a 'Time's up'
A few hours. free for me to spend. no worries of it ending. and that it gently ends with slumber...
***
So little time i get.
Time. is such an abstract idea.
I don't understand it.
What is time..?
Living in the present.
What just happened is in the past.
The past. did it really happen?
The present can easily make the past seem unreal. that, it could have just been a fragment of your imagination. for it is not in the present. The present... makes the past unbelievable...
Then, there's the future. The future is going to be a present. which means that now is going to be a past. In the future, i would feel that that is all that is real. And now may seem unreal. Then again. Now is real to me.
So. what's real. What isn't. What is time?....
maybe it's just me in different places and situations.... and subconsciously just stopping links from being created...
just ignore me ranting about nonsense in the middle of the night...
***
A quarter of my NSF life is over.
Still hate it.
***
Another season of haze.
Weather is bad.
My health if affected.
end of weather report
***
Sighs. really miss interacting with music...
***
Looking forward to Worship later...
Be with me Lord... I'm tired...
***
Long walks and getting lost.
Glass doors and portraits.
Wooden boxes and hand sanitizer.
Orange lightings and noisy works.
Potato and banana
Sits down and stone
Cold and home.
Warmth and end.
Thanks and. .....
***
Air con is nice.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 5:30 AM
07 June 2013
Where are the days, when others were the one who made things fun.
Where are the days, when that group of seniors would constantly write notes to each other to encourage one another.
Where are the days, when i'll look forward to entering that wooden carpeted room every Saturday at 3.30pm.. or even earlier to just soak in that place.. and hopefully meet someone to be with.
Where are the days, when we need to do whatever nonsense, we would just take 165 or 132 to that apartment. with everyone.. where so much nonsense has happened.
Where are the days, where people will assign a BFF to you..... and that you'll just make so much... so much memories with him..
Where are they... the smiles that appears so easily... the friendship.. the love.. the place even..
So much changes.... So much loss.. that all just becomes a fragment of memory...
... just memory...
is that enough..?......
hopefully..
It just.. isn't the same anymore aye... can't be the same anymore aye...
長大了... 事情也都不一樣了...
What was graced upon me.. Things gained now.. The ____ past that shaped me.. The growth i had.
I'm very thankful for all of it..
Never stop dreaming.
と
Never forgot your past.
Kid, It's over. Live with it. take care of it.
More good will come. Be patient, hope for them. And the Lord who loves you will graciously give to you.
And continue to treasure what you have now. what you hold dear. what you love.
なつかしいですね..?
How nostalgic it is to once again walk down memory lane.. 3am aye. haha... sheesh.
Take care. You'll pull through.
Thank you God... Thank you...
じゃあね
おやすみ
Thanks. :) ~written~ 3:22 AM
03 June 2013
When the music fades.
And all is stripped away.
And I simply come.
...
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself.
Is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within.
Through the way things appear.
You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship...
It's all about you.. All about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord... For the things I've made it....
It's all about you... Just all about you Jesus.
And. This song simply summarises the recent period I've went through.
Too focused on the technical aspects of music... And closing up to worship.
Too focused on the things I'm graced with... And forgetting to see God.
But.. He's just... Always there..
Always reaching out for me.. Waiting for me to turn to Him... Once again open up to Him....
Even though I simply forget about Him at times...
Such that.. The moment I sang.. He touched me.. And I felt His presence once again.
It has always been just.. All about Him.
Thats all i have to do.
I admit I'm forgetful. But. This reminder. This song. Has once again led me and reminded me that. It's just all about Him. Nothing else really matters.
Things I've done. To upset him. Yet He still forgives and Love me unconditionally... How great He is..
Thank you Lord..
Things. will always turn out fine. As long as God is always at the centre of it.
Let's. walk this walk together aye. And grow spiritually. Leggo~ ^^
Thanks. :) ~written~ 11:23 PM
About Me
Leon Yao Jinchi
7 Dec 1994
AMKCMC
FOC
FWB
Peirce Sec Sch Yishun Junior College
3e3 4e2 CTG 111201
Still Choir (Stepped down)