Looking back and finally having some time to reflect.
I realised that recently.
I've been getting swallowed up by life.
Getting emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausted
So easily.
So frequently.
That it kinda puts me into a constant state of being disorientated.
And it now takes so much effort to interact, improve relationship.
With friends.
With family.
With the people I care about.
(With myself?)
And most importantly. Even with God.
Not being able to have the personal time. To think and reflect.
Constantly being surrounded by people. By sound, noises. By their presence.
Its easy to stop seeing when too many things are visually going on. Just close your eyes. And it stops.
But.
Sounds.
They don't. There isn't a way to get away from them.
I've been needing silence so much.
Such that.
When I'm in an place filled with people. And countless conversations are going on at the same time.
I get irritated. I get into a slight state of hyperventilation.
My mind will then go into a blur. I stop focusing. I panic. I try to run...
If I get to. I'm good. If not... I don't know..
I get irritated by noisy people. Who makes noise at the most little of things. They. Look like they have a lot of things to say. But what comes out of their mouths are just rubbish.
Things that are the least of importance. Even less than that.
Just shut up. Will you?
...
The lack of personal and quiet time also has deprived me of quiet time with God..
This is probably just an excuse. An evil distraction.
Finally got songs loaded into my phone. Finally can put that pair on and shur off noises.. hopefully.
And hopefully. This. Can help me get some quiet time...
I thank God tho. For so much. For his grace and sacrifice. To enter me personally thru his Holy Spirit.
So that I can really live. And not just be passing time.
Which I have been doing a lot... again..
Looking forward to booking out. Fearing booking in. And thus distract myself.
Getting swallowed up by life..
Pray for me.
Lord. Take care of me. I need you. I'm sorry for not spending time with you. And running away. Distracting myself using the time you have graced upon me. Forgive me Lord. I am weak Lord. I am nothing without you Lord. Give me strenght. Such that I can survive this. Continue providing me with your love. Such that I can be your live to be your witness. And love others using your love Lord.
Thank you for the people you have given me Lord. Thank you so much...
Sorry for being so confusing. I just... I don't know my needs and wants. And. I just get tired to see what's going on at times. Thanks. For understanding.
..
And. Back to the reality I go.
Thanks. :) ~written~ 12:03 AM
14 July 2013
Letting go.. Forgiving.. Forgetting..
How similar are they?
Things i did not have the fortune to have..
Things that leaves holes and emptiness behind.
Things that do not destroy but still damage..
Hey God. It hurts.. it really hurts. ..
But thanks. for what you've given me instead.
Thanks..
Thanks. :) ~written~ 7:13 AM
13 July 2013
Nyaaaa nyaa nyaaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa
nya nya nya nya nyaaa. Nya nya nya nya
Nyaaaa nyaa nyaaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa
NYA NYA NYA NYA NYAA. Nya nya nya nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. :D
-applause-
~The End~
Thanks. :) ~written~ 2:05 AM
About Me
Leon Yao Jinchi
7 Dec 1994
AMKCMC
FOC
FWB
Peirce Sec Sch Yishun Junior College
3e3 4e2 CTG 111201
Still Choir (Stepped down)